Captain Corruption's Clearly Confused, Cracked and Confounded Commentary

Oath of office? What Oath of Office?

2006-05-19T23:21:00.000-04:00

"I don't need to be lectured by you. You are no more a protector of the Constitution than am I," Judiciary Committee Chairman Arlen Specter, R-Pa.,

Read that gem from Senate Judiciary Committee Chairman Arlen Specter again:

"I don't need to be lectured by you. You are no more a protector of the Constitution than am I."

Psssst. Yo Arlen, remember this whacky Oath of Office you took?

I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; and that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office on which I am about to enter: So help me God.

"You are no more a protector of the Constitution than am I."

Apparently not.

I don't find the context relevant myself, I find the statement an outrageous admission of dereliction of duty on its face. Nevertheless, here's the context if ya care for it.

Lord of the Libertarians?

2006-05-19T23:06:00.000-04:00

I've read the Lord of the Rings books a dozen times and watched the extended movie versions half a dozen times and never thought of the underlining libertarian theme. Then I stumbled upon this essay by Vin Suprynowicz recently and thought it worth sharing:

For most great English literature has been about restoring proper government power (always favoring the legitimacy of the ancestors of whatever patrons were footing the bill) – read the thanes of Shakespeare’s "MacBeth" arguing that any foible can be forgiven in a king so long as he can rule with a strong hand, preserving the land from anarchy.

But The Lord of the Rings is not about restoring the metaphoric Ring of Power to the rightful king. Rather, we see Frodo the ringbearer – an open-faced hobbit in homespun making the most seemingly unlikely champion, except for the fact that hobbits are the creatures in all Middle Earth least likely to be seduced by the promise of power – offer the ring to each of the good wizards and elf queens and royal heirs of his world, in turn.

Those who succumb to temptation come to bad ends. The test of goodness and worth – in this film as in the book – is the ability to say "No" to the offer of unlimited power, to declare, as does Gandalf the Gray (Ian McKellen), "Oh, I would use this ring in an attempt to do good. But through me, it would wield a terrible power. ..."

Frodo’s quest is not to deliver the One Ring to the right king, but rather to haul it back to the mountain of fire where it was forged in darkness, and destroy it.

What’s that? Not merely to reassign government power to its rightful heirs, but to reduce and limit it for all time? To declare that the solution is not merely to make sure "the right party" manipulates the existing levers of power, but rather that such unrestricted power is to be banished from the globe for good, setting men free to seek their own mortal (albeit often misguided) destinies?

This is the conclusion Prof. Tolkien drew after watching Europe wracked by 30 years of (briefly interrupted) total war between the struggling factions of fascism and collectivism.

It’s also – coincidentally enough – what America’s founders attempted 215 years ago, when they set about constructing a government "of limited powers, sharply defined."

Do most of our present-day rulers still share that vision? Is it a common thing to walk into a federal court these days and find a judge scratching his head and declaring, "You know, the defendant has a point – I can’t seem to find any specifically delegated power in Article I Section 8 of the Constitution for the Congress to enact laws or create agencies to meddle in this field of human endeavor, at all. I thereby rule this entire section of the federal code to be unconstitutional and null and void, and order the agency whose agents have brought these charges to be dissolved forthwith. Issue yourselves severance checks, turn out the lights and lock the doors; case dismissed"?

Of course not. Because the Libertarians and Constitutionalists who argue in America today that the goal and raison d’etre of this government from its founding was to limit central power in order to maximize individual freedom, get about as much respect and attention from today’s swordbearers – anxious to centralize everything from bank account reporting procedures to airport security – as did Tolkien’s little hobbits from the dark lord Sauron.

Our eventual success today – against such a fearful array of forces, once supposed to stand as "checks and balances" one against another – looks about as likely as that of little Frodo’s lonely pilgrimage to Mordor.

Read the rest here!

NSA at it again

2006-05-11T23:10:00.000-04:00

According to USA Today Big Brother continues watching. Apparently our friends in the NSA have been hoarding phone call data provided to them by AT+T, Verizon, and Bell South, the nations three largest telecom companies.

Now now now, before you go screaming about yet another unconstitutional intrusion into your civil liberties by this administration remember what they're response is going to be... 9-11 lets us do anything we want. So don't bother with the administration on this one.

See, there's this little law, Section 222 of the Communications Act, that forbids the phone companies from releasing this information. Quoting the USA Today article:

Under Section 222 of the Communications Act, first passed in 1934, telephone companies are prohibited from giving out information regarding their customers' calling habits: whom a person calls, how often and what routes those calls take to reach their final destination. Inbound calls, as well as wireless calls, also are covered.

The financial penalties for violating Section 222, one of many privacy reinforcements that have been added to the law over the years, can be stiff. The Federal Communications Commission, the nation's top telecommunications regulatory agency, can levy fines of up to $130,000 per day per violation, with a cap of $1.325 million per violation. The FCC has no hard definition of "violation." In practice, that means a single "violation" could cover one customer or 1 million.

Seems clear to me that AT+T, Verizon and Bell South are breaking the law AND violating their customer's privacy. If you are a customer contact your telecom provider and insist that they cease this law breaking immediately. Contact your state's Attorney General and insist that he bring charges to bear.

Oh sure, I think its yet another horrible intrusion by the Bush administration into the civil liberties that make our nation great, but its also a clear violation of the law by a handfull of powerful corporations who need our money to maintain their profit level. Bush is a lame duck and could care less about your vote. AT+T, however, sicks telemarketers on you all the time. Time to hold them accountable!

Xenophobia in the in-box

2006-05-10T23:24:00.000-04:00

Can't believe I'm coming out of my blissfull father of a baby girl existence because of the issue du-jour, illegal immigration, but I got one of those obnoxious chain e-mails in my box and felt the need to respond. The e-mail rant will be in italics, with my response normal font.

demagogue
n : an orator who appeals to the passions and prejudices of his audience [syn: demagog, rabble-rouser]

Hey, if you want to have a rational discussion regarding our open unguarded borders and the problems they cause I'm all for it. If you want to make the point, RATIONALLY, that there are plenty of immigrants entering our country legally, and it is unfair to them that illegal immigrants cut the line, fine. I'll probably do lots of agreeing.

But if all you (You being whoever the original author of this document is, and those that will disperse it) can do is play racist demagogue, you'll find I can play that silly game too.

AMEN AND AMEN

Try these and see how long you stay out of jail or even alive!

Try driving around as a Gringo in Mexico with no liability insurance..... and have an accident....

Granted you'll lose your car. Don't be so stupid as to take your own car somewhere with no bill of rights, or be prepared to pay the price.

Enter MEXICO illegally. Never mind immigration quotas, visas, international law, or any of that nonsense.

How? How can I enter Mexico illegally? I've crossed that border multiple times. They want me in. They want my money. They don't look twice at you entering. The only trouble I'd have is if I tried to cross BACK without my driver's license. Then I'd be stuck.

Once there, demand that the local government provide free medical care for you and your entire family.

Who's demanding that? Does the author of this document want to provide a link to the voices of these demands?

Yes, through the emergency medical treatment and labor act of 1985 hospitals are legally bound to provide emergency services regardless of ability to pay and citizenship. But hey, as long as we're being demagogues here, I'm not gonna complain about paying for emergency medical services for anybody when I'm also forced to pay room and board for anybody, regardless of citizenship status, that's too freakin lazy to get off their butts and get a job.

Ya want to see the abuse of social services ceased, then cease providing nanny state social services to all abusers.

Demand bilingual nurses and doctors.

Who makes these DEMANDS? Go to Mexico, at least the tourist towns and big cities, and they will have folks that speak English at any establishment see the above reference to wanting our money. They want you as a customer, thus they'll speak your language.

Demand free bilingual local government forms, bulletins, etc.

Again, who's making these DEMANDS? Are there lots of folks who don't speak English? Yes. Does that present a communication problem? Yes. Are you a more marketable employee if you're bilingual? Yes. That said, I haven't heard anyone DEMAND any of the above.

Procreate abundantly.

What, you mean like Mormons, or Catholics, or Pentecostals, or folks on fertility pills, or... Yeah, no demagoguery or implied racism in that procreate abundantly line. I know, how bout a law licensing parenthood and limiting the number of births. I've always wanted to live in communist China.

Deflect any criticism of this allegedly irresponsible reproductive behavior with, "It's a cultural American thing. You wouldn't understand, pal."

See above comments regarding racism and demagoguery and our newfound relationship with China.

Keep your American identity strong. Fly Old Glory from your rooftop, or proudly display it in your front window or on your car bumper.

Hmmm like perhaps a holiday celebrating Green Beer drunkenness? Or annual Oktoberfests? Italian Fests, Greek Fests etc etc. Celtic knot tattoo's anyone? Kiss me I'm Irish bumper stickers? Or perhaps the proud flying of flags for the failed and defeated confederacy? We better outlaw them all!

Speak only English at home and in public and insist that your children do likewise.

Insist eh? That's what's happening huh? I'm sure the author of this document has done extensive research into the home life of all the various folks who don't speak English and can back this claim up with hard data, right?

Demand classes on American culture in the Mexican school system.

Again with these mysterious DEMANDS.

Demand a local Mexican driver license. This will afford other legal rights and will go far to legitimize your unauthorized, illegal, presence in Mexico.

Don't need one, I'm authorized, they want my money, and my driver's license is good enough for them.

Insist that local Mexican law enforcement teach English to all of its officers.

Good luck!

No other country will allow foreigners these rights.

You're right indeed! How proud I am to live in America, the only country in the world whose constitutional government extends its rights to all human beings within, regardless of the status of their papers. What a wonderfully unique concept, and one of the fundamental principles that our nation was founded on that ALL men are created equal, that they are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights.

I'm quite proud to live in a country where white, black, brown, yellow, and every skin tone in between can be encountered. Where walking down the street I might hear proper English, or a southern drawl, or ebonics, or Spanish, Russian, Yiddish, Farsi or any number of other languages. I'm thrilled to be able to enjoy Colonel Sander's chicken, General Cho's chicken, or some tasty chicken fajitas, as well as Indian, Thai, Greek, Italian, cuisine, and possibly find a sampling of all of the above at an Irish Pub!

I'm thrilled to live in a country where someone is absolutely and unequivocally free to write the document I'm criticizing at the moment. I'm proud to live in a country that allows the KKK to have its annual 15 person demonstration on the statehouse, and allows me to join the 500 folks across the street in flipping the KKK off.

You're absolutely correct no other country will allow all of the above. Why does that make you frightened rather than proud?

It will not happen in Mexico or any other country in the world... except right here in the United States... land of the naive or at least too nice!

Some would have it become land of the xenophobe, home of the frightened.

Again, if a rational discussion about the real issues of illegal immigration is what is desired, I'm all for it. In the meantime, please keep racist crap like this document the bleep out of my in-box.

More Orwell whilst hiatus continues

2006-04-06T22:50:00.000-04:00

Every war when it comes, or before it comes, is represented not as a war but as an act of self-defense against a homicidal maniac.

This week's 1984 quote

2006-03-16T12:27:00.000-05:00

Don't you see that the whole aim of Newspeak is to narrow the range of thought?… Has it ever occurred to you, Winston, that by the year 2050, at the very latest, not a single human being will be alive who could understand such a conversation as we are having now?…The whole climate of thought will be different. In fact, there will be no thought, as we understand it now. Orthodoxy means not thinking—not needing to think. Orthodoxy is unconsciousness.

Captain Corruption MIA?

2006-03-08T21:15:00.000-05:00

Nope, but lots going on, so how bout a quote to ponder to get you by till my next rant...

Winston could not definitely remember a time when his country had not been at war.

Orwell, 1984 is the source, of course.

By the way, I know how Winston feels.

First Morrissey, now Henry Rollins

2006-02-26T12:58:00.000-05:00

Well unlike Morrissey at least I can imagine Henry Rollins as inspiring a little fear in someone, but really folks the paranoia is way outta hand silly, doncha think.

Henry Rollins was notified by officials in Australia that he was a person of interest within their anti-terrorism establishment. Why? Because he chose Ahmed Rashid's book "Jihad: The Rise of Militant Islam in Central Asia" as his in flight reading material while flying to Australia. Apparently this disturbed the gentlemen sitting next to him, who notified authorities. Here's what Henry has to say, via MTV.Com:

"The guy phoned me in to their, like, anti-terrorist board, and they found me — they looked me up," he said. "They looked up the flight and found out who was sitting in seat 10A and they got to me. And they said, 'OK, you're now a person of interest. The man next to you does not agree with your politics and he didn't like the book you were reading.' This kind of provocation, I don't respond very well to. I was furious. And so I wrote back, 'You can tell everyone at your office, including your boss, to go f--- themselves. This book has been read by a ton of people — I am not a threat to your state or any state or any republic.'"

Read the rest here, and enjoy the New World Order.

Sex Pistols show kids today what REAL Punk is.

2006-02-26T12:48:00.000-05:00

Gotta love em, or hate em, or ignore em... aww f*** it, they don't care either way.

Check out the officially scrawled reply the Sex Pisols have offered to their recent induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame:

http://www.thefilthandthefury.co.uk/

PS yup, the Sex Pistols inspired my first and possibly last blog use of the eff asterix asterix asterix word. Just seemed appropriate to me...

Latest Terror Threat - Morrissey?

2006-02-23T20:48:00.000-05:00

Try not to laugh. No really, this is serious stuff here. This might be more important than cartoon violence and hunting accidents. Smiths front man Morrissey is a credible national security threat and potential terrorist.

After speaking out about the British and United States governments the FBI investigated and interviewed pop singer Morrissey. According to the pop diva himself:

"The FBI and the Special Branch have investigated me and I've been interviewed and taped and so forth.

"They were trying to determine if I was a threat to the government, and similarly in England. But it didn't take them very long to realise that I'm not."

What kind of a threat could Morrissey possibly be? I'm not so sure the man presents a credible threat to Michael Jackson, let alone to national security. A threat to troop morale perhaps? Oh wait, wait I've got it... I forgot the jihad he declared on dj's everywhere:

Burn down the disco
Hang the blessed dj
Because the music that they constantly play
It says nothing to me about my life
Hang the blessed dj
Because the music they constantly play

On the leeds side-streets that you slip down
Or provincial towns you jog Âround
Hang the dj, hang the dj, hang the dj
Hang the dj, hang the dj, hang the dj

Oh our good old FBI, looking out for the freedom and safety of discos and DJ's everywhere. I hear they've got Fred Schneider on ice right now ready to spill the beans about his insidious Rock Lobster plot.

Why can't Jihad Jerry get this kinda free press???

Dick Jokes

2006-02-15T22:30:00.000-05:00

Everybody else is writing Dick Cheney jokes so I figured I better get my licks in, such as they are. The first one's a quiz:

"Don't shoot shoot shoot that thing at me..."

Who said it?

A: The Violent Femmes
B: Monica Lewinsky
C: Harry Whittington
D: All of the above

And the second one's a pop culture reference:

Cheney to Whittington - "You've got red on you..."

And finally a classic archetype re-written, that I can't claim credit for:

Dick Cheney walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What can I get you?" and Cheney shoots him.

Army Girls Gone Wild on Video!

2006-02-13T11:53:00.000-05:00

Jihad Jerry and the Evilidoers have released the video for their hit single Army Girls Gone Wild. This is all ya need to know about Abu Ghraib... Here it is, free for the viewing.

Click here.

Six year old Sexual Harrasser. Better get this kid on the Sex Offender Registry.

2006-02-09T20:33:00.000-05:00

Alright Jeezus H!

Better get this kid on the sex offender registry.

Perhaps the people of Mass. are making up for their numerous Kennedy non-calls...

BROCKTON, Massachusetts. (AP) -- A 6-year-old boy is getting a lesson on the meaning of sexual harassment long before he'll be able to spell it.

The first-grader was suspended for three days for sexual harassment after he put two fingers inside a classmate's waistband, school officials told his mother, Berthena Dorinvil. The boy told her he only touched the girl's shirt after the girl touched him.

Experts say only in rare, troubling cases can children that young truly sexually harass one another.

"The connotation is you're getting some kind of sexual gratification, or wanting sexual gratification, or are putting pressure on for some kind of sexual gratification, when a 6-year-old doesn't have that capacity," said E. Christopher Murray, a civil rights attorney who has handled school discipline cases.

Dr. Elizabeth Berger, a Philadelphia-area child psychiatrist, said this case seems to be an overzealous attempt to ensure students feel safe in school after years in which society was not attentive enough.

The boy's mother called the January 30 suspension from Downey Elementary School outrageous. She said she can't even explain to her son what he did wrong because he's too young to understand.

"He doesn't know those things," she told The Enterprise of Brockton. "He's only 6 years old."

Read the rest here.

Nothing Holy about the "Holy Land"

2006-02-07T21:02:00.000-05:00

(I'm in a mood... Its time for a rant)

Ya probably think I should talk about the dumb balding apes that are rioting and burning buildings over some Mohammed cartoon, but nahh. Maybe I should talk about the dumb balding apes at war over oil? Naahh. That's all Johnny Come Lately crap, and I wanna rant incoherently a bit about the "Holy Land" instead.

Ya know why I put "Holy Land" in quotes? Frankly because there is absolutely nothing Holy about a lousy hunk of dirt that people slaughter each other over. NOTHING HOLY ABOUT IT AT ALL!

Its pathetic how desecrated with blood that land has been throughout the centuries... Always with somebody claiming they have some right to it, or that some thieves stole it, or some infidels occupy it, and they must be killed so the land can be taken back.

Nope, nothing holy about that at all.

And who are these people who have warred for millennia over it? Aren't they all followers of the same God. Do they not all believe that Moses brought forth the 10 Commandments, one of which is that whacky one about not killing?

Nothing holy about it at all.

I cannot imagine God being pleased that so many die over a lousy piece of real estate. I'm quite sure, though, that the devil enjoys all the bloodshed. Killing is Holy?

Nothing holy about it at all.

Now wanna see holy? Let one group walk away and leave it. Let one group decide a hunk of land can't possibly be worth centuries of bloodshed. That would be a holy act. That would be an act of Godlike strength. The continued, eternal barbarism is as far from God as I can imagine. Its the Same S##t Different Day behaviors of dumb balding apes.

And there's nothing holy about that at all.

Dead Man Coming

2006-02-05T22:37:00.000-05:00

Well go figure. ABC used the first ever five second delay of the Super Bowl to edit the Rolling Stones. Mick's explicit reference to he and Jerri Hall's sex life got the ax.

Personally I think Mick shoulda shown a nipple.

Wait, no I don't.

Bush requests ban on himself!

2006-02-03T21:18:00.000-05:00

From the State of the Union

Tonight I ask you to pass legislation to prohibit the most egregious abuses of medical research, human cloning in all its forms, creating or implanting embryos for experiments, creating human-animal hybrids, and buying, selling or patenting human embryos.

Bush's call for a human animal hybrid ban has caused quite an uproar at the White House where many suspect hybrids abound, from the head Chimp on down.

Dick Cheney, who is thought to be a chickenhawk/man, told reporters today that the State of the Union was not intended to be taken literally by anyone.

Read the rest at Tom Burka dot com. Really, click the link. I couldn't possibly write a better gag!

iPod Owners say What?

2006-02-03T20:44:00.000-05:00

Huh who'da thunk it. If you shove speakers in your ear and crank the volume you might end up with hearing problems. And of course you know who's fault it is, right... The guy you bought the product from!

From CNN:

SAN FRANCISCO, California (AP) -- A Louisiana man claims in a lawsuit that Apple's iPod music player can cause hearing loss in people who use it.

Apple has sold more than 42 million of the devices since they went on sale in 2001, including 14 million in the fourth quarter last year. The devices can produce sounds of more than 115 decibels, a volume that can damage the hearing of a person exposed to the sound for more than 28 seconds per day, according to the complaint.

The iPod players are "inherently defective in design and are not sufficiently adorned with adequate warnings regarding the likelihood of hearing loss," according to the complaint, filed Tuesday in U.S. District Court in San Jose, California, on behalf of John Kiel Patterson, of Louisiana.

The suit, which Patterson wants certified as a class-action, seeks compensation for unspecified damages and upgrades that will make iPods safer. Patterson's suit said he bought an iPod last year, but does not specify whether he suffered hearing loss from the device.

Apparently Mr. Patterson is unaware there's a volume control on the device.

Let me be absolutely loud and clear about my opionion here: Mr. Patterson and his lawyer should be strung up by speaker wires.

State of the Union Epiphany

2006-02-01T18:47:00.000-05:00

It hit me during the State of the Union. I have finally figured it out. I have seen the light. I am now aware of the plan, and it's just pure brilliance.

How could this have escaped me previously?

You see, "They hate us for our freedoms," right? Sooooo the plan all along was to pass the Patriot Act, hold prisoners in Gitmo with no right of Habeus Corpus, indulge our governments whims at secret prisons internationally, and engage in domestic spying without warrants. Why you ask?

If they hate us for our freedoms, then all we have to do is eliminate our freedoms and they'll stop hating us!

Sheer brilliance. Count me in.

Study shows "total lack of reason in political decision-making."

2006-01-30T20:49:00.000-05:00

Did we really need a study to tell us this?

Democrats and Republicans alike are adept at making decisions without letting the facts get in the way, a new study shows.

And they get quite a rush from ignoring information that's contrary to their point of view.

Researchers asked staunch party members from both sides to evaluate information that threatened their preferred candidate prior to the 2004 Presidential election. The subjects' brains were monitored while they pondered.

The results were announced today.

"We did not see any increased activation of the parts of the brain normally engaged during reasoning," said Drew Westen, director of clinical psychology at Emory University. "What we saw instead was a network of emotion circuits lighting up, including circuits hypothesized to be involved in regulating emotion, and circuits known to be involved in resolving conflicts."

Bias on both sides
The test subjects on both sides of the political aisle reached totally biased conclusions by ignoring information that could not rationally be discounted, Westen and his colleagues say.

Then, with their minds made up, brain activity ceased in the areas that deal with negative emotions such as disgust. But activity spiked in the circuits involved in reward, a response similar to what addicts experience when they get a fix, Westen explained.

The study points to a total lack of reason in political decision-making.

"None of the circuits involved in conscious reasoning were particularly engaged," Westen said. "Essentially, it appears as if partisans twirl the cognitive kaleidoscope until they get the conclusions they want, and then they get massively reinforced for it, with the elimination of negative emotional states and activation of positive ones."

Notably absent were any increases in activation of the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain most associated with reasoning.

Here's the rest on MSNBC.

Random Gun Control Thought

2006-01-27T15:33:00.000-05:00

There's an old pro gun control argument I thought about today. This claims that an armed citizenry is useless in a revolt against a tyrannical government that has the technological and organizational terrors the likes of the modern US armed forces to support it. The theoretical point made is that a "bunch of yahoos" with small arms couldn't possibly make an impact against modern US armed forces.

Does anyone else think the Iraq insurgency has pretty much negated that argument?

Friggin Democracy

2006-01-26T22:22:00.000-05:00

How dare those Palestinians elect a Hamas majority. What gives them the right?

Newsflash! College students are horny and don't always behave themselves!

2006-01-25T22:23:00.000-05:00

I'm shocked. SHOCKED I tell you! College kids misbehaving? College kids making sexual jokes and playing grab-ass?

Thank God for the American Association of University Women's latest research bringing this vital issue to life!

From CNN:

Researchers found that 62 percent of college students experienced sexual harassment, and 32 percent of college students said they were victims of physical harassment.

"The primary form of harassment that we're seeing is actually non-contact: it tends to be remarks, gestures and jokes," Elena Silva, the report's co-author, said in a telephone interview. "But the fact that one-third of college students are experiencing some form of physical harassment is certainly a concern."

In a representative survey of 2,036 undergraduates at U.S. colleges and universities, 41 percent said they had sexually harassed someone.

"In most cases, these students say that they thought it was funny, the other person liked it, or it is 'just a part of school life,'" the report found.

Common types of physical harassment include being touched, grabbed or pinched in a sexual way, or intentionally brushing up against someone in a sexual way, the study found...

Less than 10 percent of all students report sexual harassment to a school employee, the study found. Most student victims say the incident was "not a big deal" even though it made victims feel "helpless" or "horrible."

"We have a real contradiction where students are saying, on the one hand, it's no big deal and didn't report it ... but on the other hand, they say, 'Yes, I was upset by it, yes, it made me feel bad about myself,'" Silva said.

Well now we better protect these poor little kids. We wouldn't want them exiting college with lessons in how to deal with reality now, would we? We must ensure nothing in their collegiate experience makes them upset.

I've got it! Federally funded chemical castration and chastity belts for all college students. That'll take care of this scourge!

Bush Joke (hmmm was that redundant?)

2006-01-24T22:05:00.000-05:00

George was scheduled to visit the Methodist Church outside Washington.

Bush's campaign manager visits the Bishop, and says, "We've been getting a lot of bad publicity among Methodists because of our position on stem cell research and the like. We'd gladly make a contribution to the church of $100,000 if during your sermon you'd say that the President is a saint."

The Bishop thinks it over for a few moments and finally says, "The church needs funds so I'll do it."

Bush pompously shows up looking especially smug. The sermon progresses- the Bishop begins his homily: "George W. Bush is petty, a self-absorbed hypocrite and a nitwit. He is a liar, a cheat, and a low-intelligence weasel. He has lied about his military record! and had the gall to put himself in a jet plane landing on a carrier posing before a banner stating 'Mission Accomplished.' He invaded a country for oil and money, and is using it to lie to the American people. He is the worst example of a Methodist I've ever personally known. But compared to Dick Cheney, George Bush is a saint.

Got the joke via e-mail from Chris at Politics of the Day so I don't claim it as mine. Had to share though!

Don't Bring TNT to a Nuke Fight

2006-01-24T20:07:00.000-05:00

Boy I sure hope Murphy's Law doesn't strike the first time we launch one of these confusion prone new toys.

U.S. May Arm Subs With Conventional Warheads for Quicker Strike

Jan. 17 (Bloomberg) -- The Pentagon wants to spend up to $500 million through 2011 to replace nuclear warheads with conventional warheads on some submarine-launched ballistic missiles, according to budget documents.

The purpose is to allow quicker preemptive attacks on deeply buried enemy command centers or stockpiles of weapons of mass destruction. U.S. submarines carry ballistic missiles that fly at supersonic speeds, faster than those launched from land- based silos or airplanes.

``This weapon would give the U.S. global, conventional preemption -- a first-strike capability -- in 30 minutes, to attack North Korean or Iranian WMD or leadership facilities,'' said William Arkin, a former Army intelligence analyst and independent defense consultant and author.

...

``Before we start shooting ballistic missiles at countries we had better work to resolve the question of false warnings and accidental nuclear war, particularly if North Korea were ever a target,'' he said.

I do so love it when the Bush administration finds a new way to remind me of Dr. Strangelove.

President Merkin Muffley: [to Premier Kissoff] Hello?... Ah... I can't hear too well. Do you suppose you could turn the music down just a little?... Oh-ho, that's much better... yeah... huh... yes... Fine, I can hear you now, Dmitri... Clear and plain and coming through fine... I'm coming through fine, too, eh?... Good, then... well, then, as you say, we're both coming through fine... Good... Well, it's good that you're fine and... and I'm fine... I agree with you, it's great to be fine... a-ha-ha-ha-ha... Now then, Dmitri, you know how we've always talked about the possibility of something going wrong with the Bomb...

Read the full Bloomberg article here.

Nannies Nag Nickelodeon

2006-01-19T20:41:00.000-05:00

Apparently the products that Nickelodeon and Kellogg provide are making kids fat.

By LIBBY QUAID AP Food and Farm Writer
The Associated Press

WASHINGTON Jan 18, 2006 — Advocacy groups and parents are suing the Nickelodeon TV network and cereal maker Kellogg Co. in an effort to stop junk food marketing to kids.

The plaintiffs are citing a recent report documenting the influence of marketing on what children eat. Ads aimed at kids are mostly for high-calorie, low-nutrition food and drinks, according to the government-chartered Institute of Medicine.

Wakefield, Mass., mother Sherri Carlson said she tries her best to get her three kids to eat healthy foods.

"But then they turn on Nickelodeon and see all those enticing junk-food ads," Carlson said. "Adding insult to injury, we enter the grocery store and see our beloved Nick characters plastered on all those junky snacks and cereals."

Carlson and another plaintiff, Andrew Leong of Brookline, Mass., spoke at a news conference organized by the Center for Science in the Public Interest and the Boston-based Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood.

They intend to sue Kellogg and Nickelodeon parent Viacom Inc. in state court in Massachusetts and served the required 30 days' notice on Wednesday.

"For over 30 years, public health advocates have urged companies to stop marketing junk food to children," said Susan Linn of the Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood. "Even as rates of childhood obesity have soared, neither Viacom nor Kellogg has listened."

Here's a thought: Stop letting your kids sit on their lazy asses in front of the T.V. all day eating Captain Crunch! Oh wait, that would require actual parental responsibility. I keep forgetting that responsibility is a dirty word.

Kids it won't be long before sugar is a controlled substance.

Read more here.

Chocolate City

2006-01-18T23:20:00.000-05:00

Much ado about New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin's Chocolate City comments Monday... People incensed, said he was racist, blah blah blah.

Me? Rather than getting all worked up I have an even better idea... How 'bout people get over it all already and stop being so daggum hyper sensitive about all of it! If somebody says "kill whitey" or "let's lynch a n*****" fine, they're racist. Making some off hand comment at an MLK rally about Chocolate City? WHO CARES!

Really we aren't gonna get over any of this nonsense if we continue to whine and moan about silly pointless things like word usage. Sticks and stones and all...

Besides Nagin's REAL crime with his Chocolate City comment was copywrite infringement, and I for one want to see justice for Dr. Funkenstein, the Godfather of Intergalactic Funk, George Clinton!

"Chocolate City" - Parliament, 1975

Uh, what's happening CC?
They still call it the White House
But that's a temporary condition, too.
Can you dig it, CC?

To each his reach
And if I don't cop, it ain't mine to have
But I'll be reachin' for ya
'Cause I love ya, CC.
Right on.

There's a lot of chocolate cities, around
We've got Newark, we've got Gary
Somebody told me we got L.A.
And we're working on Atlanta
But you're the capital, CC

Gainin' on ya!
Get down
Gainin' on ya!
Movin' in and on ya
Gainin' on ya!
Can't you feel my breath, heh
Gainin' on ya!
All up around your neck, heh heh

Hey, CC!
They say your jivin' game, it can't be changed
But on the positive side,
You're my piece of the rock
And I love you, CC.
Can you dig it?

Hey, uh, we didn't get our forty acres and a mule
But we did get you, CC, heh, yeah
Gainin' on ya
Movin' in and around ya
God bless CC and its vanilla suburbs

Gainin' on ya!
Gainin' on ya!
Gainin' on ya! (heh!)
Gainin' on ya!
Gainin' on ya!
What's happening, blood?
Gainin' on ya!
Gainin' on ya!
Gainin' on ya!

Yeah!
What's happening, black?
Brother black, blood even
Yeah-ahh, just funnin'

Gettin' down

Ah, blood to blood
Ah, players to ladies
The last percentage count was eighty
You don't need the bullet when you got the ballot
Are you up for the downstroke, CC?
Chocolate city
Are you with me out there?

And when they come to march on ya
Tell 'em to make sure they got their James Brown pass
And don't be surprised if Ali is in the White House
Reverend Ike, Secretary of the Treasure
Richard Pryor, Minister of Education
Stevie Wonder, Secretary of FINE arts
And Miss Aretha Franklin, the First Lady
Are you out there, CC?
A chocolate city is no dream
It's my piece of the rock and I dig you, CC
God bless Chocolate City and its (gainin' on ya!) vanilla suburbs
Can y'all get to that?
Gainin' on ya!
Gainin' on ya!
Easin' in
Gainin' on ya!
In yo' stuff
Gainin' on ya!
Huh, can't get enough
Gainin' on ya!
Gainin' on ya!
Be mo' funk, be mo' funk
Gainin' on ya!
Can we funk you too
Gainin' on ya!
Right on, chocolate city!

Yeah, get deep
Real deep
Heh
Be mo' funk
Mmmph, heh
Get deep
Bad
Unh, heh
Just got New York, I'm told

Hurst Bean Co. Hopes Stadium Authority Chokes like the Colts!

2006-01-18T21:23:00.000-05:00

The Indiana Stadium and Convention Building Authority, playing hardball in its efforts to get all it wants to expand the Indiana Convention Center and build a new Stadium, filed an Eminent Domain suit on December 30th against Hurst Beans. They want the 70 year old, successful company out of the way so they can have some parking spaces for a new retractable roof stadium. That's right, force a successful business and employer out of the way for parking spaces.

N.K. Hurst has responded.

From the Indy Star:

The N.K. Hurst family responded to the stadium authority's eminent domain lawsuit by arguing that its bean company land won't be used for the public good.

In its objections filed recently in Marion Superior Court, attorneys for the family argued that the Indiana Stadium and Convention Building Authority can't seize its four acres of land for a new stadium because it will benefit a private organization -- the Indianapolis Colts.

The Colts get revenue from their games, plus about half of all revenue from non-Colts events, as part of the deal that led to the construction of the $500 million stadium. Attorneys argue that eminent domain can be used only to seize land for public use.

Sadly since the Kelo v New London decision the United States Supreme Court has ruled that localities MAY seize land through Eminent Domain for private use but I'm with Hurst on this one... Tell em to choke on it!

Actually Hurst has been far more tactful, offering a solution back in September that seemed a win win for all involved:

N. K. Hurst Property Should Not Be Taken by Eminent Domain for Part of the Colts Parking Lot

There's a Better Solution

Current Status :

N.K. Hurst is actively in business on the site where we have been operating since 1947.

We have requested and the Stadium Authority has declined all requests to discuss any alternative to taking our property .

The Stadium Authority has taken the first statutory step to take our property by making a formal financial offer. We have made no financial demand because we hope to remain where we are.

The Stadium Authority has asked us to calculate the full cost to move Hurst's operations. We have retained an eminent economist from Purdue, a state-certified relocation analyst, and construction engineers to estimate relocation and reconstruction costs. The reconstruction cost estimates were done and then withdrawn due to the increases that will be caused by Hurricane Katrina.

We have made no financial demand of the Stadium Authority. When it comes to money we have only responded to their requests to what it will cost our business in terms of relocation and business interruption.

As of yesterday, the Stadium Authority has accepted our request to meet with us on these subjects.

Hurst's Proposal:

Create parking spaces on alternative land that is already available.

Adapt landscaping and the Hurst building's natural architectural features to complement the Stadium Authority.

A Win-Win-Win-Win Solution

Indiana taxpayers will pay less for the Stadium project.

Hurst will continue to generate gross revenues for Central Indiana projected over the next 30 years to be $205 Million.

A 70-year employer and a solid corporate citizen will remain as a part of the Indianapolis downtown business community.

The Colts will get all 3,000 parking spaces they are entitled to under their lease.

Long and Short Term Costs to Relocate

N.K. Hurst has estimated that it will incur relocation and business disruption costs in excess of $7,500,000 in the event of a forced relocation. This does not include the cost to N.K. Hurst for land acquisition or facility construction.

These costs come under the following categories:

Physical Move

Packaging and Marketing Material Replacement

Replace Lost Conveying Equipment

Employee Training and Retention

Property Tax Increases

Business Personal Property Tax Increases

Insurance

Product Costs and Production Costs as we run ahead to prepare for a move

Forward Warehousing of extra inventory

Lost Sales for walk-in traffic

Duplication of equipment to mitigate risk while getting a new production plant up and running.

Consultants & Engineers

Visit the Hurst Beans site and support them in their Eminent Domain fight!

In the meantime, I'm thinking a good name for the new stadium would be the Heimlich Dome... might help my Colts avoid another choke!

The Chronic

2006-01-15T21:46:00.000-05:00

-Cles of Narnia

Got sent this link and had to share. Enjoy!

How bout a quote.

2006-01-13T22:10:00.000-05:00

I'd call it quote of the week or some such crap but there's just no guaranteeing I'd be interested in fulfilling a weekly commitment to such a thing.

Anyway, it came to my today so I thought I'd share. Its from one of Douglas Adams' Hitchhikers Guide to the GalaxyHitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy books, though I must confess I don't recall which one.

"It is an important and popular fact that things are not always what they seem. For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much -- the wheel, New York, wars and so on -- whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man -- for precisely the same reasons."

Nerds!

2006-01-12T21:10:00.000-05:00

Devo bassist, Gerald Casale:
"Hey, I'd rather be on this list than not on it. We were pissed-off nerds with a plan! And we made being nerds sexy because we worked like a military drill team. Besides, when nerds make money, they get laid."

Truer words were never spoken I'm sure.

Sync Magazine has posted their list of the 50 biggest nerds of all time. Jerry and the rest of DEVO clockout at 45.

45 Devo Red energy dome- and jumpsuit-wearing electronic rockers. Defining nerd moment The "Whip It" video made Devo early MTV icons. Unfortunately, they signed an unfavorable music contract and now no longer hold the rights to their hit songs. Instead of living off royalties, lead singer Mark Mothersbaugh now survives by composing songs for Rugrats cartoons.

Miraculously somehow DEVO gets beaten by KISS at DEVO's own game. KISS earned a ranking of 27th. In fact a strong argument is made for their nerdly status.

27 KISS "Knights in Satan's Service?" More like "Keepin' It Seriously Supergeeky." Defining nerd moment See the made-for-TV movie Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park. It's not versus the Phantom of the Park or fights the Phantom of the Park. They meet the Phantom of the Park. "Hi Gene, a pleasure I'm sure ... "

Who's the King of All Nerds? Topping the list at number one is level 50 Nerd Lord Gary Gygax.

1 Gary Gygax Cocreator of Dungeons & Dragons and father of role-playing games. Defining nerd moment With a last name that sounds like a barbarian warrior from space, is it any wonder this guy invented the 20-sided die? Between 1977 and 1979, Gygax released Advanced Dungeons & Dragons for advanced dorks, taking the cult phenomenon to new heights whilst giving himself a +5 salary of lordly might.

See the full list here.

Fun with Fundamentalism.

2006-01-11T23:32:00.000-05:00

Oh what fun. Remember this quote from good ol Pat Robertson a few days ago:

"He was dividing God's land, and I would say, 'Woe unto any prime minister of Israel who takes a similar course to appease the [European Union], the United Nations or the United States of America,'"

"God says, 'This land belongs to me, and you'd better leave it alone,'"

Well Israel will have none of that BS, and good for them! According to CNN

Israeli... Tourism Minister Abraham Hirchson said he gave instructions to "stop all contact" with groups associated with Robertson.

Oh and speaking of loving, caring fundamentalists, how bout that Fred Phelps and his cadre of larval demons from the Westboro Baptist Church. (warning, that link will repulse you, or it should)

In case you are unaware, they like to go to the funerals of fallen soldiers and protest because they feel that our soldiers die as punishment for America's tolerance of homosexuals. Nice huh?

From the Indianapolis Star:

The Westboro Baptist Church's protest Tuesday at the funeral for Pfender in Evansville was offensive to plenty.

A handful of protesters, all women, stomped on the American flag in the pouring rain while veterans stood with their backs to the protesters, singing "God Bless America." Among the signs church members held was one that thanked God for improvised explosive devices, one of the leading killers of soldiers in Iraq.

"It's hard to believe. It infuriates you," said Jan Bender, 22, a Marine and childhood friend of Pfender's who attended the service. "It's one thing to flex your rights as an American and say what you want to say, but they're gouging into an open wound.

"Their sign said 'Thank God for IEDs.' That's exactly what killed Jonathan."

Emotions created by the church's protest are what have led Bender and others to support Steele's bill. But Mark Acker, the Veterans Affairs officer for Vanderburgh County who also attended Pfender's funeral, said he still disagrees with regulating the protests.

The Indiana General Assembly is considering a bill that would restrict such protesting by making it a felony to disturb the peace within 500 feet of a funeral.

"I understand the legislation, but that's what we have the Constitution for," Acker said. "Even if you're a radical or a moron and your argument makes no sense, for us to go passing legislation is not a plus -- it's just giving in to these people's actions by eroding the Constitution.

"My personal opinion is that if we're going to have these kids over there fighting for freedom, then sometimes you have to put up with freedoms you don't really like," said John Doyle, Sandy's husband and Jeremy's father. "I'm the minority in my family on this, for sure."

I agree with Mr. Doyle, but these whackos are out of hand. It never fails to amaze me how folks can twist the tale of a man who prayed for the forgiveness and salvation of those that whipped stabbed and crucified him into a tale of hatred.

Captain Corruption's Sidekick Found in Arkham Asylum!

2006-01-10T23:11:00.000-05:00

THIS is why the internet exists! Turn up your speakers and click this link... worry not, it's kid friendly.

Ted Kennedy publishing a children's book?

2006-01-10T20:30:00.000-05:00

Senator Ted Kennedy has written a children's book, and Captain Corruption has gotten a sneak peak... Enjoy:

See Ted drink.

See Ted drive.

Drive Ted Drive!

See Ted crash.

See Ted Splash.

Crash Ted Splash!

(Yes, as a matter of fact Ted IS an easy target!)

Anonymous Annoying Internet Posts a Federal Offense

2006-01-09T20:36:00.000-05:00

Yup you read that right, and its true. Tucked away deep in the heart of the theoretically noble Violence Against Women and Department of Justice Reauthorization Act is the following:

"Whoever...utilizes any device or software that can be used to originate telecommunications or other types of communications that are transmitted, in whole or in part, by the Internet... without disclosing his identity and with intent to annoy, abuse, threaten, or harass any person...who receives the communications...shall be fined under title 18 or imprisoned not more than two years, or both."

Read that again, and again. Annoy someone on line and you could face TWO YEARS in prison.

What's that piece of toilet paper in the National Archives called again? Oh yeah, the Constitution.

By the way we have Republican Senator Arlen Spector to thank for this pathetic waste of legislation. It is inconceivable to me that this legislation would withstand any judicial review, but don't let that stop your efforts Arlen. Gotta pretend to earn that pay one way or another.

There’s no way to rule innocent men. The only power government has is the power to crack down on criminals. When there aren’t enough criminals, one makes them. One declares so many things to be a crime that it becomes impossible for men to live without breaking laws.

-Ayn Rand

More on this at Cnet.

Captain Corruption Held Captive?

2006-01-09T20:19:00.000-05:00

I can neither confirm nor deny the rumors that I have been declared an enemy combatant, denied the right of habeas corpus, and held in a secret interrogation facility. I will state, however, that I will NOT give any payoff money received from Jack Abrahmoff back. It's mine, I'm keepin' it!

My Social Security Rant

2005-12-06T20:39:00.000-05:00

Social Security, where does Captain Corruption stand?

I want it canceled on me now... I've known all my life the pyramid scheme would topple some day and I want it to topple BEFORE my kids are faced with paying for me. It is not, nor should it be, a child's responsibility to be forced to pay for their elder's retirements. Retirement is an earned privilege, not a right.

That so many generations since FDR have saddled their debts onto their children is despicable, pathetic and irresponsible but I won't expect them to starve in their old age. Cut ME off, and go ahead and make me pay for the the irresponsible "greatest" "boomer" and "me" generations who couldn't see fit to provide for themselves. But do not force my kids to pay for others... it should not be their responsibility.

Signed - Gen X'ers who weren't born with enough middle fingers.

Former Seattle Police Chief says Legalize, Tax and Regulate

2005-12-06T20:34:00.000-05:00

Excerpted from the Seattle Times. Read the whole story here.

As a nation, we're long overdue for a soul-searching, coldly analytical look at both the "drug scene" and the drug war. Such candor would reveal the futility of our current policies, exposing the embarrassingly meager return on our massive enforcement investment (about $69 billion a year, according to Jack Cole, founder and executive director of Law Enforcement Against Prohibition).

How would "regulated legalization" work? It would:

• Permit private companies to compete for licenses to cultivate, harvest, manufacture, package and peddle drugs.

• Create a new federal regulatory agency (with no apologies to libertarians or paleo-conservatives).

• Set and enforce standards of sanitation, potency and purity.

• Ban advertising.

• Impose (with congressional approval) taxes, fees and fines to be used for drug-abuse prevention and treatment and to cover the costs of administering the new regulatory agency.

• Police the industry much as alcoholic-beverage-control agencies keep a watch on bars and liquor stores at the state level. Such reforms would in no way excuse drug users who commit crimes: driving while impaired, providing drugs to minors, stealing an iPod, assaulting one's spouse, abusing one's child. The message is simple. Get loaded, commit a crime, do the time.

These reforms would yield major reductions in a host of predatory street crimes, a disproportionate number of which are committed by users who resort to stealing in order to support their addiction.

Regulated legalization would soon dry up most stockpiles of currently illicit drugs — substances of uneven, often questionable quality (including "bunk," i.e., fakes such as oregano, gypsum, baking powder or even poisons passed off as the genuine article). It would extract from today's drug dealing the obscene profits that attract the needy and the greedy and fuel armed violence. And it would put most of those certifiably frightening crystal meth labs out of business once and for all.

Great minds think alike!

Bush Fireside Chats?

2005-11-28T20:09:00.000-05:00

WASHINGTON - The chairman of the Senate Armed Services Committee on Sunday suggested that President Bush use an FDR-style presentation to update people on progress in the war in Iraq.

Sen. John Warner, R-Va., recalled that during World War II, President Franklin D. Roosevelt often went on the radio in “fireside chats” to explain to the nation in detail the conduct of the war in Europe and Asia.

“I think it would be to Bush’s advantage,” said Warner, who served in the Navy during the war."

Rampant expansion of the federal government, massive entitlements and outrageous spending... I think Bush has done enough FDR impressions.

No difference between Repbulicrats and Demoblicans

2005-11-22T23:37:00.000-05:00

Republican Senator Lindsay Graham ALMOST gets it right.

"If we really want to do well in 2006, we need to have fiscal discipline like Republicans campaigned on,"

"We have lost our way as a party. Our base is deflated and taxpayers don't see any difference between us and the Democrats."

Lindsay, it's not that we don't see any difference, its that there IS no difference.

At least Ron Paul get's it:

Only in Washington DC can a spending increase be called a spending cut-- but that’s exactly what happened last week. Congress passed a budget bill that merely slows the rate at which some federal spending grows by a tiny percentage, and both parties acted as though a revolution had taken place...

The budget bill fails to address the root of the spending problem--this belief that Congress continually must create new federal programs and agencies. However, with the federal government’s unfunded liabilities-- Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid-- projected to reach as much as $50 trillion by the end of this year, Congress no longer can avoid serious efforts to rein in spending. Instead of a smoke-and-mirrors approach, Congress should begin the journey toward fiscal responsibility by declaring a ten percent reduction in real spending, followed by a renewed commitment to fund only those government functions that are consistent with the Constitution.

International Terror Alerts

2005-11-21T20:50:00.000-05:00

Got this in an e-mail so I can't give credit where credit is due, but I thought it was good for some laughs:

The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent bombings and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.

Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "shout loudly and excitedly" to "elaborate military posturing". Two more levels remain, "ineffective combat operations" and "change sides".

The Germans also increased their alert state from "disdainful arrogance"
to "dress in uniform and sing marching songs". They also have two higher
levels: "invade a neighbor" and "lose".

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual and the only threat they worry about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

Torture VP Cheney gives Al-Queda another win

2005-11-20T19:56:00.000-05:00

CNN has former Secretary of State Colin Powell's chief of staff, Retired U.S. Army Col. Larry Wilkerson, insisting that the guidance to torture prisoners came from Dick Cheney:

"There's no question in my mind that we did. There's no question in my mind that we may be still doing it," Wilkerson said on CNN's "Late Edition."

"There's no question in my mind where the philosophical guidance and the flexibility in order to do so originated -- in the vice president of the United States' office," he said. "His implementer in this case was [Defense Secretary] Donald Rumsfeld and the Defense Department."

At another point in the interview, Wilkerson said "the vice president had to cover this in order for it to happen and in order for Secretary Rumsfeld to feel as though he had freedom of action."

The essential goals and tactics of terrorism are to use acts of extreme violence to effect fundamental change in a society. If we continue to dismantle the principles our nation was founded on, liberty, democracy, and government limited by rule of law, then we continue to hand the terrorists their victory. Spying on our own citizens, secret European gulags, habeus corpus suspension and torture... Have the terrorists frightened us that much that we are ready to sell the soul of our nation for its defense?

Sad indeed.

George Will is dead on

2005-11-18T12:04:00.000-05:00

So nice to see true conservatives finally speaking out. Here are some plagiarized, I mean borrowed, highlights from Mr. George Will's recent column, The Great Conservative Divide:

"It does me no injury," said Thomas Jefferson, "for my neighbor to say there are 20 gods, or no god. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg." But it is injurious, and unneighborly, when zealots try to compel public education to infuse theism into scientific education. The conservative coalition, which is coming unglued for many reasons, will rapidly disintegrate if limited-government conservatives become convinced that social conservatives are unwilling to concentrate their character-building and soul-saving energies on the private institutions that mediate between individuals and government and instead try to conscript government into sectarian crusades...

Conservatives have won seven of 10 presidential elections, yet government waxes, with per household federal spending more than $22,000 per year, the highest in inflation-adjusted terms since World War II. Federal spending has grown twice as fast under President Bush as under President Clinton, 65 percent of it unrelated to national security.

In 1991, the 546 pork projects in the 13 appropriation bills cost $3.1 billion. In 2005, the 13,997 pork projects cost $27.3 billion for things like improving the National Packard Museum in Warren, Ohio (Packard, an automobile brand, died in 1958). Washington subsidizes the cost of water to encourage farmers to produce surpluses that trigger a gusher of government spending to support prices. It is almost comforting that $2 billion is spent each year paying farmers not to produce.

Gerard Alexander of the University of Virginia wonders whether conservatives' cohesion is perishing because it was a product of the period when conservatives were insurgents against dominant liberals. About limited-government conservatism, he says:

"Perhaps conservatives were naive to expect any party, ever, to resist rent-seeking temptations when in power. Just as there always was something fatally unserious about socialism -- its flawed understanding of human nature -- is it possible that there has also been something profoundly unserious about the limited-government agenda? Should we now be prepared for the national electoral wing of the conservative movement -- the House and Senate caucuses and executive branch officials -- to identify with legislation like the pork-laden energy and transportation bills, in the same way that liberals came to ground their identities in programs like Social Security?"

Perhaps. But if so, limited-government conservatives will disassociate from a Republican Party more congenial to overreaching social conservatives. Then those Republican congressional caucuses will be smaller, and Republican control of the executive branch will be rarer.

I now return me to my current Civilization 4 addiction. I'll peak my head out again soon to see how much further De-Evolution has taken us.

Jihad Jerry and the Evildoers emerge from their bunkers.

2005-11-12T10:54:00.000-05:00

Both infidel and heretic, Jihad Jerry and his band of Evildoers have dared to emerge from the underground to confront fundamentalist extremists throughout the world. Visit them on MySpace and hear their upcoming hit "Army Girls Gone Wild" but be warned... Rumor is Pat Robertson has called for Al Queda to attack them, and Homeland Security is no doubt tracking all visitors to decide who they should cart off to a European Gulag.

God voted out of city

2005-11-10T23:33:00.000-05:00

Sensible voters in Dover Pennsylvania voted out all eight school board members who had supported teaching Intelligent Design in the local schools. Setting yet another fine example of Christian love and compassion Pat Robertson warned residents of Dover they had voted God out of their city, and they should not look to Him for help in the future. He went so far as to predict disaster on his 700 Club broadcast:

"I'd like to say to the good citizens of Dover: if there is a disaster in your area, don't turn to God, you just rejected Him from your city..."

"And don't wonder why He hasn't helped you when problems begin, if they begin. I'm not saying they will, but if they do, just remember, you just voted God out of your city. And if that's the case, don't ask for His help because he might not be there.

"If they have future problems in Dover, I recommend they call on Charles Darwin. Maybe he can help them."

Well at least he doesn't recommend calling FEMA.

They hate us for our freedoms?

2005-11-09T20:08:00.000-05:00

So let's see, what's been going on lately...

Hmmm Cheney is championing the White House's position that Congress should not limit our ability to torture prisoners. Meanwhile it turns out we've got a network of Soviet style secret prisons throughout Europe where we hold untold numbers of detainees for undefined lengths of time for non existent charges.

Meanwhile on the homefront our fine FBI under the guise of the Patriot Act has been issuing over 30,000 security letters allowing agents to seize electronic data without a Judge's permission. That's a 100 fold increase over historic norms. Included amongst those "investigated" are Doug Thompson, a frightening... Get ready for it... Photo journalist.

As if all these shenanigans, plus the Valerie Plame outing, weren't enough, the White House is stirring up mortal fear of a bird flu pandemic that shows no sign of developing beyond the realm of a definitely positive absolute maybe. One wonders if Rumsfeld's substantial stock holdings in the patent holder of Tamiflu has any bearing on that fear mongering.

So, is it our freedoms that inspire hatred, or our greed driven hypocrisy?

Scooter Libby, you naughty boy

2005-11-02T21:54:00.000-05:00

Hear about recently indicted "Scooter" Libby's 1996 attempt at literature called "The Apprentice"? According to the New York Daily News you don't really want to, but...

Luckily, in the latest New Yorker, Lauren Collins summarizes the novel's sex scenes.

"The main female character, Yukiko, draws hair on the 'mound' of a little girl," Collins reports. "The brothers of a dead samurai have sex with his daughter."

Meanwhile, "certain passages can better be described as reminiscent of Penthouse Forum," Collins writes. "Other sex scenes are less conventional."

Collins quotes from the indicted aide's novel: "At age 10 the madam put the child in a cage with a bear trained to couple with young girls so the girls would be frigid and not fall in love with their patrons. They fed her through the bars and aroused the bear with a stick when it seemed to lose interest."

So we've long since established there's nothing remotely fiscally conservative about this administration. Not surprisingly there's not much substance to the pandering for the evangelical vote either.

Mile High City gets Higher

2005-11-02T21:47:00.000-05:00

The folks of Denver Colorado have voted to decriminalize possession of less than one ounce of marijuana by persons 21 years or older. This makes so much sense the feds are just bound to charge in fully loaded guns a blazing.

Here's the full story.

I'm an addict!

2005-11-02T11:49:00.000-05:00

Civilization 4 has me hooked, just as Civ3 before it, and Civ2 before it. Why would I care about the petty squabbles of the real world when I have pyramids to build, cities to irrigate, and nations to conquer!

Wal-Mart and minimum wage

2005-10-25T21:57:00.000-05:00

Wal-Mart CEO Lee Scott recently told his employees that the current minimum wage "is out of date with the times."

Mr. Scott went on to say, "While it is unusual for us to take a public position on a public policy issue of this kind, we simply believe it is time for Congress to take a responsible look at the minimum wage and other legislation that may help working families."

Ok, so that's the feel good stuff the PR firm told him to release publicly. Then there's the conversation in the board room we don't get to hear:

Lee Scott: "Hey, we already sell stuff below Mom and Pop's costs. We already control the pricing, packaging, and distribution structures of an enormous amount of vendors. What method of competition elimination have we missed here folks?"

Random board member: "We could use the feds to increase Mom and Pop's labor costs..."

Federal Government Spreads Spanish Flu!

2005-10-25T21:12:00.000-05:00

You may know that the deadly Spanish Flu of 1918 has been reconstructed in a laboratory setting. What you are unaware of is the plot to deliberately infect the United States populace with the newly reconstructed strain. Some say that since our species now has some inborn immune defenses to the 1918 strain that the plan is a benevolent plot meant to strengthen our immune systems to exotic flu viruses in hopes of helping us survive the imminent bird flu pandemic. As a victim of the Spanish Flu's recent re-release, I know better. It is a test of bio weapon effectiveness, and an immensely successful test at that.

It starts with an unexplained fever, possibly as high as 102-103 degrees, with joint and body aches. This lasts for two to three days with no other significant symptoms. On the third or fourth day a sore throat and mild cold symptoms may occur while the fever recedes. Then on day six, just when you think you've recovered, the fever returns to full strength for another 24 hours.

Have you or anyone you know undergone those symptoms recently? If so, they are evidence of how successful this bio-weapons test has been. The release of the true weapon, the H5N1 Bird Flu, is coming soon, to depopulate the world so the global elite will have total control.

Hey it could be true... Or it could be one of the uber funky dreams I had while sleeping off my 102 degree fever. But I gotta tell ya, from 9-11 conspiracies to intentional levee breaks to the Georgia Guidestones actually meaning something people will believe just about anything. Feel free to cut and paste the top three paragraphs and have chain e-mail fun with em! Tell your friends you read it on the internet so it must be true.

It's about time...

2005-10-21T21:31:00.000-05:00

Conservative columnist Bruce Bartlett rips Dubya... here's some excerpts:

The truth is now dawning on many movement conservatives that George W. Bush is not one of them and never has been. They were allies for a long time, to be sure, and conservatives used Mr. Bush just as he used them. But it now appears they are headed for divorce...

• One of Mr. Bush's first acts in office was a vast expansion of education spending with little real reform. To conservatives, it always looked like a transparent effort to buy off the so-called soccer moms. But rather than buy peace with the education lobby, it has simply led to continuous calls for still more education spending, despite the paucity of evidence correlating spending with achievement...

• Even leaving aside national defense and homeland security, government spending has exploded during the Bush years. Although most attention has focused on the vast proliferation of pork barrel spending, which Mr. Bush steadfastly refuses to veto, far more worrisome has been entitlements expansion, especially the extraordinarily ill-conceived Medicare drug benefit. In future years, Republicans will rue the day they passed this legislation, because they eventually will have to cut it, thereby losing all the political benefits they thought they would get among the elderly.

• Government regulation got a big boost from passage of the Sarbanes-Oxley bill, which Republicans rushed through Congress to deflect criticism over the Enron scandal. But nothing in the legislation would have prevented Enron's financial abuses -- which is proven by a new scandal involving stock broker Refco that seems have engaged in Enron-style financial shenanigans now being investigated.

I could go on, but the point is that George W. Bush has never demonstrated any interest in shrinking the government. And on many occasions, he has increased government significantly. Yet if there is anything that defines conservatism in America, it is hostility to government expansion. The idea of big-government conservatism, often used to describe Mr. Bush's philosophy, is a contradiction in terms.

Read the rest here.

By the way, I'm still waiting for someone to show me the difference between 21st century Republicans and Democrats...

I've got West Nile Spanish Bird Flu

2005-10-19T10:34:00.000-05:00

Apparently Captain Corruption's weakness is to microbes, as I've been down for the count the last couple days. Anyhow, when my brain stops cooking at 103 degrees I'll post again, in the meantime check out my links for your browsing pleasure.

You only get one chance at a first impression...

2005-10-16T20:55:00.000-05:00

"No one here is exactly what he appears."

http://www.whorepresents.com

http://www.penisland.net

http://www.therapistfinder.com

http://www.molestationnursery.com

Haven't these people ever heard of a hyphen?!

(Thanks to Paul S. for the e-mail I just plagiarized!)

Hook, Line and Sinker

2005-10-15T23:12:00.000-05:00

What a bunch of dolts!

So, a scumbag neo-nazi group plans a march in Toledo to protest "black crime" and in response the locals riot. Well done, idiots... If you had ignored the nazis, they would have gone away. Instead you played right into the hands of the nazi scum and managed to highlight their point on national television.

De-evolution, self execution, no solution.

Camel Toads?

2005-10-15T00:21:00.000-05:00

Truth is funnier than fiction!

Ahh corporate media

2005-10-14T16:24:00.000-05:00

Ya see, ya gotta control the set a bit better if ya want to pull of a bit of live sensationalism.

"You can't charge people for being dumb"

2005-10-13T23:17:00.000-05:00

Well, actually, Nanny Staters make a point of charging people for being dumb, but I still found it refreshing to hear a law enforcement officer admit the hypocrisy.

CROWN POINT, Ind. -- Two teenagers became so ill they had to be placed on life support after they and three others ate seeds from a hallucinogenic jimson weed plant that authorities said they found growing in a Lake County field.

"They were all screwed up," said Mike Higgins, a spokesman for the Lake County Sheriff's Department.

Higgins said the teens went online to research jimson weed, which is also called loco weed, stink weed and devil's trumpet. The plant grows throughout many parts of the country.

"They went on a local hayride and saw some of it growing wild and went back and picked it and ingested the seeds," Higgins said.

The entire plant is toxic and can cause a feeling of euphoria and hallucinations, in addition to seizures, flushed and dry skin, a rapid heart rate and dilated pupils. It can also cause people to stop breathing.

Crown Point police removed the plant from the field where it was found, but Higgins said no laws were broken since the plant, or its ingestion, isn't illegal.

The teenagers will not be charged.

"You can't charge people for being dumb," Higgins said.

The Shadowdragon Lives

2005-10-13T22:49:00.000-05:00

Gamers unite! Check out the Shadowdragon's Den for your gaming fix. The Shadowdragon's got Blog. The Shadowdragon's got games for sale. And the Shadowdragon's got black tee shirts. Black tee shirts? Why didn't I think of that?

Update - I see link backs have been added as well... hooray for Karma!

We Got Him! America's Most Wanted fugitive nabbed.

2005-10-13T18:50:00.000-05:00

The crime was heinous. The man hunt has been massive. The task has been arduous. We all remember President Bush's solemn pledge of justice in 2001: "The search is underway for those who are behind these evil acts. I've directed the full resources of our intelligence and law enforcement communities to find those responsible and to bring them to justice."

Today, through an unprecedented international coalition effort, we have finally apprehended 2001's most notorious criminal:

SEATTLE, Washington (AP) -- An Army veteran who fled to Canada to avoid prosecution for growing marijuana to treat his chronic pain was taken from a hospital, driven to the border with a catheter still attached, and turned over to U.S. officials, his lawyer said.

Steven W. Tuck then went five days with no medical treatment and only ibuprofen for the pain, the attorney said.

Tuck, 38, was still fitted with the urinary catheter when he shuffled into federal court Wednesday for a detention hearing Wednesday.

"This is totally inhumane. He's been tortured for days for no reason," Hiatt said...

...Tuck suffered debilitating injuries in the 1980s when his parachute failed to open during a jump. Those injuries were exacerbated by a car crash in 1990, Hiatt said, and Tuck was using marijuana for chronic pain.

In 2001, while Tuck was living in McKinleyville, California, his marijuana operation was raided for the second time. He fled to British Columbia to avoid prosecution but asylum was denied.

Mark Tuck off the most wanted list folks, and breath a sigh of relief. The people of the United States and the World are safe. Mission Accomplished.

By the way, does anyone have a copy of Laura Bush's Honey To Do List from 2001 laying around? Seems like there's some silly little task left unchecked, but I just can't remember what it was.

Bird Flu and you

2005-10-12T23:35:00.000-05:00

Personally I think its a lot of hype, but nevertheless there's lots of talk about Bird Flu in the media lately. All the worry about a potential pandemic, with folks asking how prepared federal and state governments are to respond. Well, that's all fine and dandy, but given how well state and federal governmental bureaucracy dealt with Hurricane Katrina, which is a small fry disaster compared to the projections of a pandemic scenario, did anyone learn the lesson that government can't do jack?

If you think its coming what are you doing for you and yours?

Got a months supply of necessities in your home? Got cash in the bank ready in case you have to take a month off work? Are you ready to quarantine yourself and your family so as not to catch it and not to spread it?

If everyone were able to do just that, quarantine themselves, there might be very little spread, with zero government help. Do you really think your best bet is to count on the government? Sadly, lots of folks think precisely that. I wish them luck, they're gonna need it.

The Smurfs go to war!

2005-10-11T23:39:00.000-05:00

By now you've seen the New Orleans' Tourism Boards latest video, right? No?!? Well check it out here then.

Now the real question is, have you seen the latest episode of The Smurfs?

Belgian television viewers were given a preview of the 25-second film earlier this week, when it was shown on the main evening news. The reactions ranged from approval to shock and, in the case of small children who saw the episode by accident, wailing terror.

The short film pulls no punches. It opens with the Smurfs dancing, hand-in-hand, around a campfire and singing the Smurf song. Bluebirds flutter past and rabbits gambol around their familiar village of mushroom- shaped houses until, without warning, bombs begin to rain from the sky.

Tiny Smurfs scatter and run in vain from the whistling bombs, before being felled by blast waves and fiery explosions. The final scene shows a scorched and tattered Baby Smurf sobbing inconsolably, surrounded by prone Smurfs.

Originally thought to be footage from a Belgian produced UNICEF commercial, Hammer of Truth has revealed that the footage is actually from reporters embedded with an invading Snork liberation army.

Snork Private Eight Ball had this to share: "Personally, I think, uh... they don't really want to be involved in this war. You know, I mean... they sort of took away our freedom and gave it to the, to the smurfers, you know. But they don't want it. They'd rather be alive than free, I guess. Poor dumb bastards."

Smurfette was overheard remarking "Me so smurfy! Me smurf you long time!"

La la la la la la, la la la ahh ahhhhhhurhhhhhhhghg!!!!!!

(See Excerpts, after an advertisement, via this link to CNN... look for their video link midway down on the right of the story. Hey, their servers can afford the bandwidth, mine can't!)

DEVO and the Wipeouters

2005-10-11T23:13:00.000-05:00

I stumbled upon an old yet thoroughly entertaining Juice Magazine interview with DEVO singer/co-founder Mark Mothersbaugh regarding, amongst other things, their surf music project The Wipeouters. "What's The Wipeouters?" you say. If you've heard the Rocket Power theme song, you've heard The Wipeouters. Anyway, since I have nothing much original to say at the moment, I'll cut and paste highlights here:

What is your position?
(laughing) Usually in the typical record company position where the artist is receiving, down on all fours.

What is your newest project?

Well, it's all the same guys from Devo that are involved. We just put out a new album called The Wipeouters. And it's kind of a funny project. It was the band that Bob Casale, Bob Mothersbaugh and I were in when we were in junior high.

This was your first musical experience?

Yes. And what's funny was that it was surfing that inspired us. And not surfing like people surf out here. it was different. It was like surfing in Ohio.

Can you elaborate on that?

Well, there were the two Bobs, and a midwesterner named Josh that hung out with us and we used to get picked on by the older high school kids. When everyone liked Elvis, we were interested in other music. And they were like "Elvis is King, you retards." But we became inspired to write music by a harrowing experience that was repeated during our junior high years. The older kids in Akron, Ohio (there are a lot of rednecks there) would grab us and put us in the trunk of the car and drive us to Lake Erie. We were all pretty little guys.

And they were bullies.

Yeah, and they'd take us out of the car and skip us like stones across Lake Erie. The first time it was terrifying. The second time, Bob McKendrick who is now head of the sheriff department of our township, was skipping me across the water when I realized that I could change the angle of the way we were skipped. You get seven or eight skips out of it and we were crashing into piers and buoys and all kinds of stuff. I realized I could have some influence over where I was going as I was flying over the water. I could avoid the stuff floating in the water. Something that was horrifying became exhiliarating. In our excitement over this experience we decided to write music because we had no other way to describe it. I mean, if we tried to tell our parents, "Hey, we got commandeered up to Lake Erie and they skipped us like stones across the surface of the lake." Our parents would be like, "What are you talking about? I thought you were in church this morning."

Right.

At first we called it "skipping" and that didn't sound macho enough so we started calling it "surfing", not knowing that in a few years something called surfing was going to happen on the West Coast.

For these guys to be able to skip you they had to lift you?

Yeah, we were like 50 lbs. We were small.

And one guy could skip you?

Oh yeah. These guys baled hay. When there was a fight at our school, these guys would show up with tractors and hook a chain to the middle and that's how they settled their arguments. That's the kind of school that I went to. I remember once we paid Homer Pattengill, we call collected money and we paid him 70 cents to jump off the roof of the school.

So you were surfers?

Yeah, surfers, not skippers, surfers. So we would get together over at Bob Casale's house. His dad was a tool and dye man in Kent, Ohio. They'd let us use the basement to set up our amps and guitars and a set of drums and we decided to start a band to celebrate what we were calling surfing.

What year was this?

In the mid '60s.

Were The Beach Boys or Jan and Dean happening yet?

No. Some of those bands were releasing songs at the same time we were but in reality those songs were pre-released by about two years so they weren't even written yet. So, in a way those bands could have been influenced by us and we never got our proper dues. When we heard Jan and Dean and the Beach Boys we were appalled. We were like, "Wait a minute. This is a barbershop quartet with a little Mickey Mouse band." We were upset by the Beach Boys and Jan and Dean. We were embarrassed every time we heard one of their songs. We felt bad for them. We said, "I guess that's the best they can do, probably." And then to make matters worse, when we finally did get out to California as Devo, the Bobs said "Let's go down to the beach and go surfing." We had heard about the muscle builders at Venice Beach and we figured we could find a few assholes to throw us across the water. We got down there and they were cheating, they were using boards. We were like, "What's that all about?" We were again embarrassed for them. To us, it was like using training wheels.

Right.

So, we're in the band, in the basement, writing these songs. It lasted the whole summer. Then we had our big break. Mr. Casale bought his wife a surprise gift --- linoleum tile for the basement. So we got to move upstairs for two weekends and set up in the garage. That was pretty great. We got our first and only audience. I got to roll the garage door up on the second Saturday and 30 or more people on banana seat bicycles or driving by in their cars laid witness to the band as they drove by.

Did they stop?

They just stopped to yell, "You suck." And then they just kept on driving.

How did Devo start?

Devo started when Gerry and I became friends in college at Kent State. We were there for the shootings.

You were?

Yeah. Gerry was standing about 15 feet away from Allison Krauss, the girl that got her head blown off. And we had all been kind of active. I didn't want to go to Vietnam, to be honest. And my brother Bob was still a sophomore in high school and he demonstrated with us. After the shooting that summer, the FBI came to our house like Men In Black in a 1968 Didge Dart. They showed my mother pictures of my brother Bart burning an American flag while firemen tried to put out the fire at the Roxy Building at Kent State the day before the killings. We were all kind of involved and it had an impact.It influenced us a lot at the time. It probably had a lot to do with our view of the world - calling ourselves Devo - which was a contraction of de-evolution. That's how the band started. Once Gerry and I started writing together. it just made sense. There was no one we could talk into being in the band besides our family so we recruited our younger brothers.

What kind of influences did you have besides the way the world was crumbling. Did you have influences?

Yeah, we were interested in all kinds of stuff. We were all fascinated with film music and commercials. One that we really liked was the Burger King "Hold the pickle, hold the lettuce" commercial. We thought that was a pretty subversive act - to turn a classically universal beautiful piece of music into some inane way to sell greasy hamburgers. And we were all influenced by Pop Art. We were products of the '60s. Andy Warhol influenced us all. He was kind of my hero. He was a fashion designer, photographer, print maker, a painter, a party thrower, a record producer and he didn't care what medium he was working in, He was interested in ideas and concepts. He wasn't boxed in. And that kind of thought inspired us. We didn't want to be in a band, or we didn't want to be dancers or filmmakers - we wanted to be all of the above. We wanted to be social reporters and force the good news as we saw it through whatever median of pop culture that was available to us. And music was the cheapest and easiest. You didn't need a big budget.

You came up with this crazy original sound. Was it planned out?

It owed equal parts to just not being interested in what was happening in pop music at the time or what you could get on the radio. Gerry and I first started writing together in 1970 and Devo didn't really get serious for a few years. It took time to percolate. We were still in school trying to figure out what we were doing. The time when we were formulating after the shootings. It was like the whole country just went to sleep. Everyone became very politically apathetic. They realized the government was just fine with shooting people if they didn't like what they did. There were no Bob Dylans or voices of conscious. Disco was happening which was like a beautiful woman with a great body and no brains. Or there was concert rock, where usually the message was "We're conspicuous consumers, we're stupid and we're proud of it."

But you had a few guys that were doing basic rock n' roll like Iggy and the NY Dolls.

But they weren't really getting support from radio or the fans. I remember seeing Iggy in the late '70s and the club was only a quarter full. Either people didn't know about it or they hadn't figured it out yet. It was a meager time in the early '70s. And the NY Dolls never really toured the US. They always stayed in NYC at CBGBs. Those were small clubs compared to Foreigner playing Dodger Stadium to 60,000 people. You had to search out the good stuff.

Did you tour to the West Coast or East Coast?

A friend of ours had a van - and we could fit six people - five band members and a driver if we took turns laying on top of the equipment. The breathing space in between the roof of the Econo-line and the amplifiers was only about 10 inches. One person would have to lay up there and the rest could cram into the seats. We would drive to the East Coast first because it was closer and we had been hearing about Max's Kansas City and CBGBs. Gerry drove out one weekend and acted like our manager and he booked us shows at both places. So, we drove to the East Coast, played both clubs and slept in the van in between.

What was the reaction?

It was pretty good. From the very beginning we got a good response. You know we had spent all this time by ourselves in the basement. At that point we had about 40 or 50 songs. If we were ever able to get a job in Ohio, we knew we'd have to be a cover band and do two sets full of material, so we wrote enough to cover it. We'd go to a biker bar and go, "Here's another one by Foghat and it's called "Mongoloid".

No way.

And after about five or six songs, these angry biker hippies that had just gotten off work at the rubber factory would go, "Are you calling me a monkey?" In Akron, we were a lightning rod for hostility. We would get paid to quit playing.

You were more accepted in New York?

Yeah, it's a different crowd.

A little more art friendly.

And five guys in yellow paper suits get up on stage and start ripping them off and jumping around. And through their heroin haze they went, "What was that?" So, we got invited back.

Did you get to meet Warhol?

Oh yeah, of course. As a matter of fact, the only time I ever went to Studio 54 was on a double-date. I was with Susan Blonde. She was an actress and the hostess on something called Blue Channel, an early cable semi-hardcore porn show. She was my date and we were double dating with Michael Jackson and Andy Warhol. I was like, "What the hell!" I didn't care she was a porn star. And Michael Jackson was still black; he still had his original color. He had just done The Biz so he had the big hat look going with patchwork on his bell-bottoms. And we're sitting there and I'm feeling like "I made it." Andy Warhol was dressed like Lil' Abner with bib overalls and no shirt. And Andy goes, "I'm going to make you a star. You're my latest find." And Michael Jackson passes me a joint. And in Ohio, if we had enough marijuana to fill an aspirin we would talk about it all week. We woudl call it 'African Trance Weed' and finally on Friday we would get together and we'd drink enough wine first so that when we each got our tiny little smidgen of a hit we'd all think we were high. So, when Michael Jackson hands me a joint, I'm like "Whoa, you bet." So, I'm looking around and no one is grabbing it out of my hand. If I were in Ohio there would be five savages grabbing for it trying to find some escape from reality. So, I had a hit, then I had a couple of hits and passed it on. Then Susan Blonde says, "Let's go dance." And I said, "I really don't even know how to dance. I can only do it on stage. Don't ask me to dance to some disco." And so the dance floor at Studio 54 had this huge tower of disco lights like a countdown towers for drag strips and they had nine of them. It was like a tic-tac-toe board over top of the dance floor. They'd turn them around and rotate them slowly and lower them down and twirl them. I'm watching Susan dance and the song playing was "It's Raining Men". The towers of lights are coming down and there's something wrong. They're not coming down properly. They start twirling around and hitting people in the head. And I'm seeing all these people getting hit in the head and there's all this blood and all these people getting hurt. I run over and grab Susan and go, "Come on. Let's go." And she's like, "What?!" And I said, "I just saw all these people get hurt by the lights." And then I look over and it's all gone. And she's like, "Are you okay?" I said, "I just saw all this blood and people getting hurt by the disco balls!" And she said, "Did you smoke the angel dust? Oh no. You smoked the angel dust." I said, "What's angel dust?" So, she put me in a taxi and got me back to my hotel room and we got to the door and I thought she was coming in and she put her foot on my ass and pushed me through the door and said, "Good bye. Good luck." And I just sat there and fried all night. That was my date with Andy Warhol.

Read the rest of the interview here.

Pakistan - India Earthquake Aid

2005-10-09T23:35:00.000-05:00

CNN's list of aid agencies helping victims of this weekends earthquake in Pakistan can be found here... Enough said.

Lyrics for your Monday Morning read

2005-10-09T23:27:00.000-05:00

Grey Matter - Oingo Boingo:

They say you’re stupid
That you’re too young to vote
They say you’ll swallow anything
That they shove down your throat

They say you can’t think
That you haven’t got a brain
That you’re just there to listen
That you’re just being trained

Chorus
There’s something inside your head
There’s something inside your head
There’s something inside your head
There’s something inside your head

They say you lost the ability to even think
That your tiny little brain
Slipped down the kitchen sink

They say that you’ll buy anything
That they turn your way
That you’ll listen to everything
That they decide to play

Chorus
Grey matter grey matter ooh . . .
Grey matter grey matter ooh . . .
Grey matter grey matter ooh . . .
Grey matter grey matter ooh . . .

I think you like it--like it
To be told what to do--isn’t that true
I think you’re better--better--better off
Stone cold dead--without your head

They say you’re stupid
That you’re too young to vote
They say you’ll swallow anything
That they shove down your throat

If they say lie down, you’ll do it
If they say--buy it now--you’ll do it
If they say--turn around--you’ll do it
If they say--hit the ground--you’ll do it
If they say--bite the big weenie--you’ll do it
If they say--wasn’t that good--you’ll do it
If they say--bend over baby--you’ll do it
If they say--take it and like it--you’ll do it

Who's more absurd, PETA or Barnes and Barnes?

2005-10-07T22:14:00.000-05:00

How bout that fine image above. That's the cover of PETA's new pamphlet, Your Daddy Kills Animals, designed to teach children about the awful horrors of, that's right, fishing. Allow me to share some tasty excerpts:

“Ask your daddy why he's hooked on killing!

Since your daddy is teaching you the wrong lessons about right and wrong, you should teach him that fishing is killing and killing is wrong.

Until your daddy learns that killing is wrong keep your doggies and kitties away from him. He's so hooked on killing defenseless animals they could be next!"

Now lets hear what Barnes and Barnes have to say:

Fish heads fish heads
Roly poly fish heads
Fish heads fish heads
Eat them up
Yum

In the morning laughing happy fish heads
In the evening floating in the soup

Ask a fish head anything you want to
They won't answer they can't talk

I took a fish head out to see a movie
Didn't have to pay to get it in

They can't play baseball they don't wear sweaters
They're not good dancers they don't play drums

Roly poly fish heads are never seen
Drinking cappuccino in Italian restaurants
with Oriental women

Yeah.

Fish heads fish heads
Roly poly fish heads
Fish heads fish heads
Eat them up
Yum

Its no contest in my mind, PETA wins the absurdity award hands down.

How bout an old fashioned joke

2005-10-07T21:54:00.000-05:00

One night, George W. Bush is tossing restlessly in his White House bed. He awakens to see George Washington standing by him. Bush asks him, "George, what's the best thing I can do to help the country?" "Set an honest and honorable example, just as I did," Washington advises, and then fades away

The next night, Bush is astir again, and sees the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moving through the darkened bedroom. Bush calls out, "Tom, please! What is the best thing I can do to help the country?"

"Respect the Constitution, as I did," Jefferson advises, and dims from sight................

The third night sleep still does not come for Bush. He awakens to see the ghost of FDR hovering over his bed. Bush whispers, "Franklin, What is the best thing I can do to help the country?"

"Help the less fortunate, just as I did," FDR replies and fades into the mist........................

Bush isn't sleeping well the fourth night when he sees another figure moving in the shadows. It is the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. Bush pleads, "Abe, what is the best thing I can do right now to help the country?"

Lincoln replies, "Go see a play."

Republicrat Declaration of Indepedence

2005-10-06T20:49:00.000-05:00

Prudence, indeed, will dictate that [Political Parties] long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that [rank and file members] are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such [Political Parties], and to provide new Guards for their future security.

Ya better drop it!

2005-10-06T20:35:00.000-05:00

Republican Indiana State Senator Patricia Miller proposed, then dropped, a bill that would have prohibited gays, lesbians, and single people from using the medical sciences to assist them in procreation. According to the Indianpolis Star:

Under her proposal, couples who need assistance to become pregnant -- such as through intrauterine insemination; the use of donor eggs, embryos and sperm; in vitro fertilization, embryo transfer or other medical means -- would have to be married to each other. In addition, married couples who needed donor sperm and eggs to become pregnant would be required to go through the same rigorous assessment process of their fitness to be parents as do people who adopt a child.

State Sen. Patricia Miller, R-Indianapolis, issued a one-sentence statement this afternoon saying: “The issue has become more complex than anticipated and will be withdrawn from consideration by the Health Finance Commission.”

What the freakin bleep is complex about it, Pat? The State has absolutely NO standing in deciding who can and cannot breed. Bloody fundamentalist patronizing Nanny Stater!

(I know, I know... bloody fundamentalist patronizing Nanny Stater is the best I could come up with, whaddya gonna do?)

Ten year old contract dispute continues

2005-10-04T20:41:00.000-05:00

Hey, Terry M. Neal of the Washington Post reminds us that the great G.O.P. Contract With America is now ten years old. So what has become of the contract who's number one plank was "The Fiscal Responsibility Act: A balanced budget/tax limitation amendment and a legislative line-item veto to restore fiscal responsibility to an out-of-control Congress, requiring them to live under the same budget constraints as families and businesses"?

Well, according to Mr. Neal's column:

"Under President Bush, spending has leapt 33 percent in four years," said Brian Riedl, a federal budget analyst for the Heritage Foundation and co-author of its new report on federal spending and revenue. "On an annualized basis, spending has grown twice as fast under Bush as it did under Bill Clinton."

Almost reflexively, the president's supporters give him a pass. The growth in spending is all because of the 9/11 terror attacks, they say. But the Heritage Foundation says not so.

"Defense and 9/11 are not responsible for most of the spending increases," Riedl said. "Instead, we had the largest education bill in history, the largest farm bill in history, and in Medicare, the largest expansion of the great society ever. Furthermore, the number of pork projects has increased from 4,000 to 14,000 per year. That alone has been the cause for a lot of the increased spending."

...All of this raises a serious question: Is it conservative to cut taxes but not rein in spending? Does it fulfill the promise of 1994's Revolution Republicans to run up massive debts that will have to be paid off by future generations? Can a politician claim to be a fiscal conservative if he or she only pays attention to one side of the fiscal equation?

"Wait wait wait, you guys are taking the word contract out of context here. What we meant was campaign promise... and by promise what we really meant was more of a guideline really, kind of sorta an ideal we might think about getting around to considering. Thanks for your votes though." - the Republicrats.

Stirring the Pre-School Pledge Pot

2005-10-04T20:08:00.000-05:00

So a couple pre-schoolers I know have been taught the Pledge of Allegiance. Ahh yes, that wonderful tool of socialist indoctrination. This marks the true beginning of a dozen years of programming they will receive designed to subjugate their individual will to the collective.

One's mind boggles further when one knows that the pre-school attended by said children is a Christian school. Is a pledge to a piece of cloth not idolatry?

"But Captain," you say, "Didn't you pledge allegiance to the flag daily throughout your indoctrination in the American school system? You turned out to be a free thinker, how bad could a little patriotism be?"

Hey shuddup already, I'm trying to spin some sort of image as a radical here, sheesh.

Now then, raise your left hand, place your right hand on your wallet, and repeat after me:

I pledge allegiance to the fads
Of the United States of America
And to the consumers on whom they prey
No money down
Financing available
With endless interest and payments for all.

The Political Compass for a slow night

2005-10-03T21:24:00.000-05:00

I could go off about President Bush's Supreme Court Nominee Harriet Miers' lack of judicial experience, but I'm quite sure others will cover that territory. Nope, I'm kinda under the weather and not in the mood for much critical thinking, so I'll offer up to you, my valuable readers (all 1 of you) the opportunity to critically think for yourselves, well in a multiple choice sorta way.

Take the quiz at The Political Compass and see where you stand.

My score came as no surprise to me:

Your political compass
Economic Left/Right: 2.63
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -5.28

Making me Libertarian Right... Or socially liberal and fiscally conservative.

The trouble with Scotland is...

2005-09-29T22:44:00.000-05:00

The Scots have no First Amendment!

Subhaan Younis, 23, was sentenced to 60 days in jail for "breach of the peace" for showing a woman a video clip of an Iraq hostage beheading. Now you won't hear me argue that what he did showed good taste, but boy does this jailing make me appreciate all the bad taste in the good ol United States of America!

Here's an excerpt from Scotsman.com

Donald Findlay, QC, one of Scotland's top lawyers, said the case served as a warning to people who send work colleagues and friends graphic material by e-mail or mobile phone. He said: "What this case shows is that sending a video clip that contains something that is either offensive, distressing or alarming can be considered a breach of the peace."

Mr Findlay said it was almost impossible to be sure that people would not be offended by many e-mails circulated around offices. "The days of the office joke e-mail are probably numbered," he said.

Media lawyer Campbell Deane, a partner at Bannatyne Kirkwood France in Glasgow, said as far as he was aware the case was the first time that disseminating offensive material has been prosecuted as a breach of the peace under Scots law.

He said: "The test for breach of the peace is putting somebody in a state of fear and alarm and that depends on the sensitivities of the person concerned.

"There was an e-mail doing the rounds a while ago where a guy is walking his Yorkshire terrier and gives it a really hard kick. It is very well edited so it looks real, though on closer inspection it is clearly a stunt. But if it was sent to a dog lover they could take it the wrong way and be deeply upset.

"You probably shouldn't go to jail for that, because it was a joke. But if today's decision is right, in the eyes of the law that wouldn't make much difference, as you are still placing that person in a state of alarm.

I cannot overstate my opinion here... there is NO more important paragraph of legal writing in the history of man than:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

Flight Attendants cry like little girls while Jodie Foster joins the mile high club.

2005-09-29T22:27:00.000-05:00

The Association of Flight Attendants has called for a membership boycott of the Jodie Foster film "Flightplan." Their concern is the potrayal in the film of a flight attendent as a terrorist.

"This depiction of flight attendants is an outrage," said Association of Flight Attendants (AFA) International President Patricia Friend...

(AFA spokesperson) Corey Caldwell said the portrayal of airline cabin crew members as evil-doers adds further insult to long-standing Hollywood stereotypes that have depicted flight attendants as sexualized bubble heads or as harsh, humorless disciplinarians.

Well Corey, sweetie, somebody ought to tell you this, babe: I'm not so sure that 90,000 flight attendants whining about a couple of movie characters will do much to help eliminate the stereotype that flight attendants are bubble headed, harsh and humorless. I am sure, though, that Jodie Foster and Disney appreciate the free publicity.

Read the full story here.

Park Bench Nanny Law

2005-09-28T21:50:00.000-05:00

But but its for the children!

Thank God for our Nanny State! Without Nanny Laws dangerous folks like Sandra Catena, Dance Instructor, might be able to freely sit on any park bench they choose.

See, this dangerous criminal ran into New York City's park bench squad, who were ready at a moments notice to apprehend suspects violating the city's park bench ordinances. One of these ordinances prohibits adults that aren't accompanying a child from sitting at playground benches. I'll let channel 7 reporter Jim Dolan take it from here:

Sandra Catena, Dance Instructor: "They said it's against the law, you have to be accompanied by a child to sit in a kitty park and they were giving me a summons. I said 'you're kidding right?' and he said 'no.'"

And so the officers, obviiusly well-trained at sensing a dangerous situation when they encounter one, did the only thing sensible. While they were writing this dance instructor a summons, they called for back-up.

Already guarded by two officers, one of whom had his hand on his gun, according to Catena, two more police officers soon arrived and stood nearby with their hands on their guns in case there was trouble - from the dance instructor.

Sandra Catena, Dance Instructor: "The other two officers that just puled up their car got out, spoke with the other cop and then they walked toward me - they both had their hands on their guns too."

But there was no trouble. They wrote the summons and now the dance instructor has to face the bar of justice for her ... crime.

Sandra Catena, Dance Instructor: "I have to go to court on November 16th and I was told that if I did not go to court a warrant would be issued for my arrest if the judge does not dismiss this I can get 90 days in jail or a $1,000 fine."

More fun with sensationalism

2005-09-27T11:59:00.000-05:00

From the L.A. Times regarding the misreporting of the Hurricane Katrina anarchy:

"It doesn't take anything to start a rumor around here," Louisiana National Guard 2nd Lt. Lance Cagnolatti said at the height of the Superdome relief effort. "There's 20,000 people in here. Think when you were in high school. You whisper something in someone's ear. By the end of the day, everyone in school knows the rumor — and the rumor isn't the same thing it was when you started it."

Journalists and officials who have reviewed the Katrina disaster blamed the inaccurate reporting in large measure on the breakdown of telephone service, which prevented dissemination of accurate reports to those most in need of the information. Race may have also played a factor.

Indeed, Mayor C. Ray Nagin told a national television audience on "Oprah" three weeks ago of people "in that frickin' Superdome for five days watching dead bodies, watching hooligans killing people, raping people."

Hmmm... perhaps our friends in the media and in public office should consider a little fact checking prior to spouting off the rumors. Nahhh, on second thought, here's a rumor I heard: Did you know that buying Captain Corruption's products will enhance your bank account and your libido? Find out for yourself!

Newsflash! Media reports may have exaggerated a tad.

2005-09-26T23:27:00.000-05:00

Remember all those Hurricane Katrina reports a few weeks back about out of control murderous rapacious gangs at the New Orleans Superdome and Convention Center. Well, there might have been just a wee bit of poor fact checking and sensationalism by the folks doing the reporting.

It turns out that there were a whopping four bodies recovered from the Convention Center, contradicting, it would seem, previous reports of bodies "piling up" inside. One of those bodies may have been slain. The rest died of disaster related causes.

Inside the Superdome six bodies were recovered... four having died of natural causes, one of an overdose and one a suicide.

"I think 99 percent of it is bulls---," said Sgt. 1st Class Jason Lachney, who played a key role in security and humanitarian work inside the Dome. "Don't get me wrong, bad things happened, but I didn't see any killing and raping and cutting of throats or anything. ... Ninety-nine percent of the people in the Dome were very well-behaved."

Dr. Louis Cataldie, the state Health and Human Services Department administrator overseeing the body recovery operation, said his teams were inundated with false reports about the Dome and Convention Center.

"We swept both buildings several times, because we kept getting reports of more bodies there," Cataldie said. "But it just wasn't the case."

Orleans Parish District Attorney Eddie Jordan said authorities had confirmed only four murders in New Orleans in the aftermath of Katrina - making it a typical week in a city that anticipated more than 200 homicides this year. Jordan expressed outrage at reports from many national media outlets that suffering flood victims had turned into mobs of unchecked savages.

"I had the impression that at least 40 or 50 murders had occurred at the two sites," he said. "It's unfortunate we saw these kinds of stories saying crime had taken place on a massive scale when that wasn't the case. And they (national media outlets) have done nothing to follow up on any of these cases, they just accepted what people (on the street) told them. ... It's not consistent with the highest standards of journalism."

That's ok, don't fool yourself folks... this blog, that enjoys cutting and pasting the work of others as above, isn't consistent with the highest standards of journalism either. If only I could be consistent with the highest profit margins of corporate media.

Read the full report here.

Devolved Sub Human Woman

2005-09-26T20:51:00.000-05:00

Paris Hilton? Are you kidding me? You must be kidding me!

Excuse me Paris, as a self appointed spokesperson for true DEVO fans everywhere it is my Duty Now to say get your poser ass out of our gear! While you're at it go grab a double whopper with cheese... You need it ya anorexic barbie doll!

"Something about the way you taste makes me want to clear my throat. There's a method to your movements that really gets my goat. I look for sniffy linings but you're rotten to the core. I've had just about all I can take ya know I can't take it no more! Got a gut feeling!"

DEVO - Gut Feeling

Children of Acrylamide

2005-09-25T21:15:00.000-05:00

Well California Attorney General Bill Lockyer apparently has waaay too much time on his hands. Mr. Lockyer is suing fast food restaurant chains and potato chip manufacturers for failing to place warning labels regarding the potentially carcinogenic chemical known as acrylamide.

What the bleep is acrylamide, you ask? It sounds dangerous, doesn't it.

Acrylamide is a compound found NATURALLY in asparagus, prune juice, olives, and coffee. It is also a bi-product produced when cooking starchy foods in high heat... In other words, its in french fries and potato chips as well.

But, golly Captain, it sounds dangerous.

Well, according to the FDA "acrylamide can cause cancer in laboratory animals at high doses, although it is not clear whether it causes cancer in humans at the much lower levels found in food." Ah yes, the infamous can cause cancer in lab animals at high doses fear.

Ok then, what sort of doses are we talking about in these evil fast foods?

According to an FDA study acrylamide doses vary from food to food and sometimes from store to store. Now get ready for some dangerous sounding numbers here... Burger King Fries had anywhere from 197 to 369 parts per BILLION... With a B. Wow. Scary huh? By comparison naturally ripe olives had 1363 parts per billion.

Well, just because the coalition of food producers says "Acrylamide has been present in the food supply and safely consumed since human beings discovered that cooked food tastes good and is often safer than the raw form" is no good reason to avoid a knockdown dragout lawsuit, is it?

Is it any wonder California is broke? Their Attorney General wastes tax dollars pursuing a compound found naturally in asparagus, olives and coffee while creating an altogether unfriendly atmosphere for business. California is the ultimate Nanny State, and folks, it won't be long before the nanny's, desperate to protect us from all threats real or perceived, start going after sugar, coffee, and the five second rule.

Evolution or Intelligent Design? Neither... De-Evolution is real!

2005-09-24T23:54:00.000-05:00

So the debate on teaching intelligent design in school is headed to the courts. That's soooo 1925...

Personally I still fail to see the inherent conflict that some insist exists between evolution and creationism. Neither the Big Bang nor Evolution attempt to describe who manufactured the universe, they merely attempt to describe the mechanisms used in the universe's manufacture.

It takes very little effort to accept that God created the stars, the Earth and man in six days VIA the big bang and evolution. All one has to do is consider that six days to an infinite being such as God might be more like, oh, six hundred million millenia to small fry beings like us humans.

Though perhaps when those humans are actually caught in a state of de-evolution hoping for such a stretch of their minds is too much to ask.

Pajama Jammie Jam - 6th grade style

2005-09-23T19:10:00.000-05:00

Apparently wearing your pajamas to school is all the rage for some kids these days. I'm not one to follow fashion much at all, but what can I say, this sure spoke to me:

Ellyn Small, says that the first time her daughter wanted to wear pj's to school, "I was dead set against it." Then she realized other kids were doing it and didn't mind so much.

Translated - I was dead set against my daughter thinking for herself, but herd mentality is ok with me!

Eminent Domain - a hill of beans!

2005-09-22T19:33:00.000-05:00

The N.K. Hurst Company of Indianapolis finds itself at odds with the power of the state and our friend eminent domain. Indianapolis and Indiana insist they need the property of the 67 year old bean company for a parking lot supporting a new retractable roof stadium and convention center expansion. John Klipsch, executive director of the Indiana Stadium and Convention Center Building Authority insists "We absolutely need their property. What's to be negotiated is how we pay them."

The N.K. Hurst company has their own proposal, but thus far the State of Indiana isn't listening. Well, I suggest we listen, so here it is:

Hurst's Proposal:

• Create parking spaces on alternative land that is already available.

• Adapt landscaping and the Hurst building's natural architectural features to complement the Stadium Authority.

A Win-Win-Win-Win Solution

• Indiana taxpayers will pay less for the Stadium project.

• Hurst will continue to generate gross revenues for Central Indiana projected over the next 30 years to be $205 Million.

• A 70-year employer and a solid corporate citizen will remain as a part of the Indianapolis downtown business community.

• The Colts will get all 3,000 parking spaces they are entitled to under their lease.

Long and Short Term Costs to Relocate

N.K. Hurst has estimated that it will incur relocation and business disruption costs in excess of $7,500,000 in the event of a forced relocation.

The building has been there since 1947 and the company has played an active role as a responsible civic citizen. Let's hope for a miracle... that the state will give them a fair shake!

DEVO 2005 tour report

2005-09-22T19:11:00.000-05:00

DEVO webmaster and archivist Michael Pilmer has his 2005 tour report up and available for the perusal of all Spuds. Loads of outstanding pics of the shows and the DEVOted Spuds who enjoyed em are available for your perusal at Devo Obsesso.

I can neither confirm nor deny the rumour that I'm Kilroy in this shot, but I'll gladly brag that the tallest Energy Dome front and center of this crowd is yours truly.

In case you missed my front row review of the Chicago shows you can read it here.

Join the Porn Squad Today!

2005-09-20T21:53:00.000-05:00

Attorney General Alberto Gonzales and the FBI are looking for a few good eunuchs! Given the enormous success rate of the various wars our feds are engaged in, like the War on Terror, War on Drugs, War on Poverty, and the War on Evolution, they figured it was high time to launch a War on Porn.

That's right, just what the Nanny State ordered... A War on Porn. We're not talking about kiddie porn here folks. They mean regular nasty evil wicked imagery of consenting adults engaging in the sort of behaviors that consenting adults engage in.

According to the Washington Post, federal agents are just thrilled at the thought. They're lining up to join the squad, just sure this is exactly the sort of war our tax dollars should be fighting:

"I guess this means we've won the war on terror," said one exasperated FBI agent, speaking on the condition of anonymity because poking fun at headquarters is not regarded as career-enhancing. "We must not need any more resources for espionage."

Among friends and trusted colleagues, an experienced national security analyst said, "it's a running joke for us."

A few of the printable samples:

"Things I Don't Want On My Resume, Volume Four."

"I already gave at home."

"Honestly, most of the guys would have to recuse themselves."

Personally I can't wait for the TV show... It'll practically write itself...

PORN SQUAD! ...A Quinn Martin production... (que Peter-Gunn-like theme-music)
*True Stories from the Files of the P-Squad*

"Alright, Lefty - put down the Kleenex! We've got ya surrounded!"

"Sonofa...! It's da Porn-Squad! You P-Men'll never take me alive! Uh...could ya wait a couple'a minutes, guys? I'm...almost...there..."

(Sound of automatic gunfire)

Hey Kids! Don't miss next weeks exciting episode of...PORN SQUAD! with guest star Ned Beatty as "the Squealer" and special guest star Paul Reubens as himself!

"Alright Squealer, we can do this the easy way or the hard way..."

"Where'd ya score the scat Squealer? Talk or you're goin down!"

(Credit where credit is due- I stole the PORN SQUAD! a Quinn Martin Production gag verbatim from IndyStar Message Board regular Deaconblu. Here's the post. Thanks Deacon!)

Porn Squad

There's a KILLER in YOUR BACK YARD

2005-09-20T20:35:00.000-05:00

Made ya look didn't I? Yup, gotta love those outrageously sensationalist headlines that our friends in corporate media provide us. This one tickled my fancy today:

State's West Nile cases surge to nine

Go ahead, click the headline link. You better... You might be missing life saving information about the horrible, awful West Nile SURGE. I mean, we're talking NINE people, (most of whom will be fine in a few days)who've gotten the dreaded West Nile.

Nevermind that influenza kills twenty thousand people nationwide every year... The Flu has been around forever, so that's not news that will sell papers. West Nile, responsible for a whopping 88 deaths nationwide in 2004, has a nice exotic name. It's new, its fresh. That's the headline ya want.

So remember folks, stay indoors in close proximity with other people. Breathe the air they cough into, touch the surfaces they sneezed on. Whatever you do, DON'T go outside... ya might get a mosquito bite!

Guess where you can get your Corporate Media Sucks gear at? Yeah, I'm obvious, so what?

How government agencies would respond to Katrina

2005-09-18T00:33:00.000-05:00

Another looted Hurricane Katrina piece... this one is from Wolfesblog. Enjoy!

Postal Service - Takes two weeks to deliver supplies to New Orleans; 10% of the supplies are lost. Nevertheless, demands that no private firm be allowed to deliver supplies. Recipients must wait in line for hours at a few inconvenient offices to receive their supplies. A few postal workers fire guns at recipients. Asks for a postage increase.

NASA - Evacuates New Orleans for two years while they study the problem. Eventually, rebuilds the levees exactly as before, but installs a network of television cameras to watch the levees. As soon as the city is repopulated, the levees leak again. Asks for more money.

FDA - Same as NASA, except 10 years, no television cameras, and when the levees leak, sues the levee manufacturer and demands that all cities with levees be closed.

Transportation Security Administration (TSA) - Requires all evacuees to pass through a metal detector and remove their shoes for inspection. Evacuees without shoes, not covered by regulations, are required to stay in the city. Maintains a secret "no-evacuate" list. Asks for more money.

Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms (BATF) - Surrounds New Orleans with snipers and shoots anyone attempting to escape. Eventually requests military support to bomb the city with napalm. Afterwards finds some unregistered firearms in the rubble; officially exonerated for its actions. Asks for more money.

Fannie Mae & Freddit Mac - lobby to create "Cindy Lou", the National Disaster Loan Unit (NDLU), specializing in zero-down-payment, below-prime loans to homes likely to be destroyed in five years or less. In ten years, amasses a portfolio of $500 billion in loans. Insists it doesn't need a bailout.

Child Protective Services (CPS) - removes all the children of New Orleans from their parents, on the grounds that their parents are unable to provide a safe and clean home. Relocates the children to foster homes in Baghdad. Asks for payment for each child relocated.

CIA - Sends covert operatives to 20 other American cities to report on the water level. Concludes that there is no flood risk. Asks that its budget be secretly increased.

Congress - Holds six months of hearings to investigate the problem, finally placing blame on some low-level staff workers at the NOAA. Passes new legislation banning hurricanes from entering the continental U.S. Votes itself a pay raise.

Supreme Court - Concludes that hurricanes are an Act of God, and by a 5-4 vote, bans them from federal property and public schools. The dissenting opinion holds that it should be up to the states to decide if they want hurricanes in their schools.

FEMA - See Postal Service.

Thanks to Lazarus Long for bringing this one to my attention!

The Populist Propagandist

2005-09-17T20:17:00.000-05:00

Apparently Al Franken and Air America recently got in some sort of turmoil regarding some loan situation or some such affair that will have zero impact on my life.

You may also recall the Oxycontin scandal of Rush Limbaugh.

Both of these events rallied not a small number of folks to arms, screaming and yelling about the right wing or left wing poster boy's hypocrisy.

Yawn

See, just like my posts elsewhere bout there being no significant difference betwixt Republican and Democrat politicians I also see no difference between Rush Limbaugh and Michael Moore, Sean Hannity and Al Franken. All are a bunch of blowhard propagandists shouting, screaming, and cheerleading for their "side" so they can get better ratings and sell more books or movie tickets. And you better believe that the Republicrats and Democans at the top, armed with and bought off by their corporate feudal warchests, love these blowhards from both sides.

See, the corporate feudal state is the body of the two headed republicrat beast. All the top congressmen and senators and all the presidential candidates are owned by a chunk of said corporate feudal state. Halliburton or Heinz... hey it don't matter, its all the same.

Said corporate feudalists managed to gain a monopoly on the media a couple decades ago, so please don't get fooled into thinking it matters one bit to those at the top of the food chain whether you watch Fox or CNN... Its all part of the same deal.

Rush Limbaugh gave the corporate feudal state, corporate media, and the politicians they own an impressive new toy to play with... The populist propagandist. The populist propagandist makes a load of cash for himself and his sponsors by rallying the troops around the artificial left and right "sides". They earn their bread and butter by constantly pounding home the message that those who think differently than their audience are completely out of touch whackos with nothing worthwhile to say. The populist propagandist has managed to turn the once descriptive terms Liberal and Conservative into epithets for monkey men to hurl at each other, and as long as those monkey men are busy hurling epithets they aren't busy thinking. A thinking populace is exactly what the corporate feudalists and their politicians don't want.

They don't want you thinking about the corporate feudal state that controls the corporate media that sponsors the propagandist that helps shill its crap. They don't want you thinking about the politicians, on both sides, that have been bought off and are controlled by the corporate feudal state to further entrench themselves into their hegemony.

What they want is for you to spend your time being mad at Limbaugh or Franken or Hannity or Moore over some nonsense said blowhard spouted, so when it comes time to vote why, why, YOU'LL SHOW THEM! You'll emotionally charge into that voting booth and vote for your "side", not acknowledging that neither "side" has managed in your lifetime to make a bit of difference, they've only managed to maintain and strengthen their collective stranglehold on power.

Corrupt Drug Policy

2005-09-12T23:23:00.000-05:00

Ok I'll lay it on the line here. It's your body, it's your brain, do what ya want with it. If you're stupid enough to want to destroy yourself by shooting heroine or freebasing meth what do I care? Well, frankly, I don't... at least until my tax dollars come into play. Ya better not need me to buy you a meal if you can afford your fix, and that fix, by the way, includes booze and cigs. If you're subsidized ya oughtta pee in a cup first. Test positive for nicotine, alcohol, or worse and ya get cut off. Period.

Ok, now that that's out of the way, let's chat a bit about my practical proposal to get our troops and kids out of the drug war. The drug war has failed. Prohibition is an impossible task. If demand for a product exists a market WILL create itself. If said market is forced underground things get terminally ugly. Put it this way - the best thing alcohol prohibition did for this country was enhance the Kennedy fortune. Think about that one, Republicans, cuz it scares me too!

So what solution do I offer? Legalization, regulation and taxation, just like booze and cigs. Let RJ Reynolds grow and roll it, let Eli Lilly cook and distribute it, and let 21st Amendment Liquor's check ID's when its bought.

Crazy you say? Well, the way I see it its crazy to continue to flush billions down the toilet fighting a war that can't be won. Its crazy imprisoning kids, branding them felons, and throwing them to the prison wolves for their youthful indiscretion. Its crazy locking up folks because they suffer from the disease of addiction. Finally its crazy creating a massive black market that provides an enormous profit center for the worst thugs in our society!

Through legalization, regulation and taxation currently "controlled" substances can actually BE controlled. Tell me, when is the last time the local crack dealer checked ID before selling to a kid?

Through legalization, regulation and taxation we can not only save billions of dollars currently spent fighting the drug war we can actually create revenue. We can funnel that money toward the investigation and prosecution of REAL crimes, including contributing to the deliquency of a minor. We can funnel that money toward actual honest substance abuse education, and not just cheesy PSA's about "your brain on drugs." We can funnel that money toward addiction treatment.

I'm quite confident that even after spending money on treatment and education there would be a net revenue gain compared to the spending sink hole that is the drug war. Nevertheless even if we just break even the worst costs of the drug war would be eliminated... No longer would we be incarcerating our youth, no longer would we be offering an outrageously profitable revenue stream to the dregs of our society, and no longer would we be putting the best and brightest of the law enforcement community in harms way.

I hate to say I told you so but...

2005-09-11T23:11:00.000-05:00

Way back on August 5th, when Oregon passed a law requiring prescriptions for over the counter cold remedies I warned that the rest of the country wouldn't be far behind. Read "Oregon Nanny State requires Nyquil prescription" right here.

Well, we're not quite there yet, but the US Senate on Friday voted UNANIMOUSLY to force all the rest of the drug, grocery, convenience, and Mom and Pop stores in the nation to keep Nyquil, Sudafed, and other similar cold remedies behind the counters.

Customers will have to show photo ID, sign a log, and will be allowed a total monthly ration of 7.5 grams of cold medicine. What's even worse than the obnoxious inconvenience meant to protect us all from the evil scourge of meth heads is that stores will be required to utilize a computer database to ensure that no customer exceeds his monthly allowance by making purchases at multiple stores. In other words, Mom and Pop in nowhereville USA will be required to purchase a modern computer system and connect it to the internet whether they can afford to or not.

Hmmmm.... Who wants to bet CVS, Walgreens, and Wal-Mart were all over the senate lobbying for this crap. Any edge over Mom and Pop they can get, they'll take.

By the way, predictably this latest Nanny State intrusion is a bi-partisan affair sponsored by California's Democan Senator Diane Feinstein and Missouri's Republicrat Senator Jim Talent. Go figure, both parties are happy to screw Mom and Pop small businesses to appease Wal Mart and other corporate campaign donors.

One final note... Oregon tried this behind the counter nonsense a year ago, convinced it would somehow mitigate the great meth scourge. Of course, as with all prohibition, it completely failed. Hence the new Oregon law requiring prescriptions for these medicines. Worry not, nationwide prescription Nyquil is coming soon.

Five days with Katrina

2005-09-09T21:25:00.000-05:00

These 197 images, with narration, tell quite a tale of Hurricane Katrina before, during and after, as seen by someone who rode it out. Check them out here:

Five Days with Katrina

Rebuild the Big Easy? Yup, absolutely.

2005-09-08T23:04:00.000-05:00

Why build a castle in a swamp? George Friedman offers an in depth analysis of that very question, and likens Hurricane Katrina's global aftermath to that of a nuclear bomb. Here's an excerpt:

"Last Sunday, nature took out New Orleans almost as surely as a nuclear strike. Hurricane Katrina's geopolitical effect was not, in many ways, distinguishable from a mushroom cloud. The key exit from North America was closed...

The ports of South Louisiana and New Orleans, which run north and south of the city, are as important today as at any point during the history of the republic. On its own merit, the Port of South Louisiana is the largest port in the United States by tonnage and the fifth-largest in the world. It exports more than 52 million tons a year, of which more than half are agricultural products -- corn, soybeans and so on. A larger proportion of U.S. agriculture flows out of the port. Almost as much cargo, nearly 57 million tons, comes in through the port -- including not only crude oil, but chemicals and fertilizers, coal, concrete and so on.

A simple way to think about the New Orleans port complex is that it is where the bulk commodities of agriculture go out to the world and the bulk commodities of industrialism come in. The commodity chain of the global food industry starts here, as does that of American industrialism. If these facilities are gone, more than the price of goods shifts: The very physical structure of the global economy would have to be reshaped. Consider the impact to the U.S. auto industry if steel doesn't come up the river, or the effect on global food supplies if U.S. corn and soybeans don't get to the markets...

...It follows from this that the port will have to be revived and, one would assume, the city as well. The ports around New Orleans are located as far north as they can be and still be accessed by ocean-going vessels. The need for ships to be able to pass each other in the waterways, which narrow to the north, adds to the problem. Besides, the Highway 190 bridge in Baton Rouge blocks the river going north. New Orleans is where it is for a reason: The United States needs a city right there.

New Orleans is not optional for the United States' commercial infrastructure. It is a terrible place for a city to be located, but exactly the place where a city must exist. With that as a given, a city will return there because the alternatives are too devastating. The harvest is coming, and that means that the port will have to be opened soon. As in Iraq, premiums will be paid to people prepared to endure the hardships of working in New Orleans. But in the end, the city will return because it has to."

Read the full article here.

Man- the Environmental Rapist? Not possible.

2005-09-07T21:43:00.000-05:00

Explain to me this: Why is it that if a beaver builds a dam its "natural" but when a man does it its "artificial?" Don't both actions displace a squirrel or two?

How do we know that in the grand scheme of things we aren't doing exactly what Mother Earth wants us to do? How do we know, to paraphrase George Carlin, that we weren't placed here to create the plastic layer, so that a million years from now cockroach archaeologists can have some neat four tiered red plastic hats to display in their museums?

I want clean air, I want clean water, and I don't want to maliciously slaughter species after species but ya know what? If they can't adapt, they're doomed. I bet the rats and possums, pigeons and roaches love us humans. The buffalo could no doubt do without us.

It is arrogant presumption to assume our measley species can do permanent long term damage to a planet.

See, thing is, I'm not denying that environmentalists have predicted disaster regarding some of our species' behavior. Build a city below sea level and on a swamp and you're asking for some sort of trouble.

"They said it was daft to build a castle in the swamp, but I built it anyway... It sunk into the swamp...."

I'm denying the oft expressed sentiment that we are raping the environment. Why? Because we humans are every bit a part of the environment as every other species on the planet. We came out of the same primordial soup or from the same creator as all the rest of them. A beaver dam, or a termite mound, or a friggin nuclear power plant, were all created by one of God's creatures, so why is one "bad" and "artificial" while the rest are "natural"? If we build a nuke plant and it melts down, well, how do we really know that God didn't WANT us to, so he could have an excuse to introduce the two headed Chernobyl turtle?

We're part of the total package, and the concept that we measly humans can save the Earth or destroy the Earth is just ludicrous. All we can manage to do is make the immediate environment slightly more or less comfortable for ourselves and our progeny. That minor tampering we do may indeed have some consequences... Build on a hillside in California and you better not expect your structure to last a century. Build in the Mississippi flood plane and ya better have a boat. Build a nuke plant on the cheap and ya might glow in the dark some day. Build a city below sea level and some day trouble may come, no matter how you prepare. This is just part of the deal of any species' existence on this planet. The ants in my patio cracks couldn't possibly have predicted the doom that would befall their cities when they started building... They staked their claim and made the best of it anyway, at least for a while.

Mother nature points out how powerless we truly are all the time in minor ways... Lightning strikes, tornados, mudslides, forest fires. Every once in a while she shows us in much bigger ways... whammo, 200,000 dead in the blink of an eye in a tsunami. These sorts of events are my evidence that to the Earth we ain't nothin' but another little critter on the surface. We've only been here for the proverbial drop of a geological bucket, and we've only been building our evil "artificial" whatever's for a tiny miniscule of a fraction of our species existence. The thought that we've managed to disrupt in any significantly permanent way the patterns of an environment millions of years old in just a century or two requires an enormous leap of faith.

The "damage" humans do to the environment is a matter of degree and or opinion, and immensely difficult to measure. Again, as the dinosaurs died to give us oil to fight over, perhaps we are creating depleted uranium to give the roaches a resource to fight over. Who knows?

I sure don't.

R.I.P. Little Buddy!

2005-09-06T20:58:00.000-05:00

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,
a tale of a fateful trip.
That started from this tropic port,
aboard this tiny ship.
The mate was a mighty sailin' man,
the skipper brave and sure.
Five passengers set sail that day,
for a three hour tour, a three hour tour………
The weather started getting rough,
the tiny ship was tossed.
If not for the courage of the fearless crew,
the Minnow would be lost; the Minnow would be lost.
The ship took ground on the shore of this uncharted desert isle,
with Gilligan, the Skipper too,
the Millionaire, and his Wife,
the Movie Star, the Professor and Mary Ann,
here on Gilligan's Isle.

So this is the tale of our castaways,
they're here for a long, long time.
They'll have to make the best of things,
it's an uphill climb.
The first mate and his skipper too,
will do their very best,
to make the others comfortable,
in the tropic island nest.
No phones, no lights, no motor cars,
not a single luxury.
Like Robinson Crusoe,
it's primitive as can be.
So join us here each week my friend,
you're sure to get a smile.
From seven stranded Castaways,
Here on Gilligan's Isle.

Bob Denver, have a great cruise!

(Hear the Gilligan's Island theme song, and sing along, here.)

NOT my rant, but I had to loot it...

2005-09-05T22:55:00.000-05:00

This was too good not to be shared verbatim. Again, I emphasize quite bluntly that this is NOT my rant, I have reprinted it without permission from here.

Let me make this clear: Everything which has happened as the result of Hurricane Katrina is my fault. Mine. Alone. No one else's. Stop wasting energy pointing fingers and put your hands to work helping out. It was me. Got it?

I was a United States Senator from Louisiana in 2001 when the levee at Lake Pontchartrain was declared unsafe and I didn't have enough clout with my Senatorial brethren to get sufficient money appropriated to fix it. It was my fault.

Notwithstanding my failure on that front, according to wire services:
"In a telephone interview with reporters, corps officials said that … the levees near Lake Pontchartrain that gave way … were completed and in good condition before the hurricane.

"However, they noted that the levees were designed for a Category 3 hurricane and couldn't handle the ferocious winds and raging waters from Hurricane Katrina, a Category 4 storm when it hit the coastline. The decision to build levees for a Category 3 hurricane was made based on a cost-benefit analysis in the 1960s. "

Oh. I almost forgot. I was the Commander-in-Chief of all United States Armed Forces in the 1960s which includes the Corps of Engineers. The cost-benefit analysis? My fault.

It is my fault that, as the Governor of Louisiana, I didn't foresee the need to have enough Louisiana National Guard troops - the vast majority of whom are NOT currently in Iraq, or Afghanistan or, for that matter, Indiana - pre-positioned and ready to preserve order.

I, frankly, forgot that there is a portion of the population which will steal anything from anyone given any opportunity and then will blame it on me because I didn't - in spite of ample warnings by sociologists from large Eastern Universities - foresee the need to have 27" flat-screen television sets available to every family in the New Orleans city limits as soon as the electricity went out. That one WAS my bad.

It is my fault that, as Mayor of New Orleans, I was boogying down Bourbon Street the night before the hurricane hit rather than being where I should have been - on the roof of the Superdome pounding in extra nails to hold the roof on.

As the architect of the Superdome, it was my fault for claiming that the Dome could survive 200 mile-per-hour winds. It couldn't even handle a relatively gentle160 mile-per-hour zephyr. Strap me to my drafting table and set me adrift.

Global warming? My fault. Despite the fact that nearly every serious climatologist in America has stated over and over again that there is no clear evidence tying human-generated greenhouse gasses to global warming, and even if there were, there is no evidence tying global warming to hurricanes in the Atlantic basin, I was opposed to the Kyoto treaty and so it is my fault.

It is also my fault that during the administration of Bill Clinton the US Senate rejected the terms of the Kyoto protocols by a vote of 95-0. That would be zero, zilch, nada, nil, bupkis.

As the Grand Poohbah in Charge of all TV Coverage, it is my fault that there is constant video of looters and almost none of humanitarian activities. I am the person who issued the statement: "No more rescue footage UNLESS the person rescued complains about how long they had to wait or, if he shoots at the rescuers."

And, finally, as Chairman of the National Association of Gasoline Producers it is my fault that I had the bad judgment to put so much of my drilling, refining and transportation assets in a hurricane-prone area like the Caribbean basin. What…was…I…thinking?

If I could re-do that whole thing, I would have put all that equipment in Lake Erie and Lake Michigan. There may not be any oil there, but hurricanes are very rare.

So. There you have it. Everything that has happened is my fault.

Now. Shut up and help.

--END --
Copyright © 2005 Richard A. Galen

Here's Mr. Galen's site.

This Link will help you shut up and help.

Hmmm - Bureaucrats and politicians screwed the pooch. Gee, what a shocker.

2005-09-05T22:27:00.000-05:00

Hey I'm not trying to say there isn't reason to be angry at the response... From the looting scum to the cops that quit to the mayor that whined to the governor that wasn't ready with the Natl Guard to FEMA to President Bush... They all made their share of mistakes. Hurricane Katrina's aftermath was mishandled by plenty of politicians and bureaucrats.

Go figure.

Ask yourself though, are YOU ready to handle a few days of anarchy if and when the fit hits the shan in your hood?

I'm not some survivalist nut, but I do have a reasonably watertight bin with a good supply of bottled water, blankets, first aid, granola, flashlights, transistor radio and batteries ready to go. Why? So if a tornado sweeps through and my wife, child, dog and I survive we can have our own butts covered. If our butts are covered, then we can help others. If your own butt aint covered, ya can't help anyone else.

See, if everyone is prepared as individuals, then there'd be far less freakin out and panic. There'd be far fewer people figuring aww hell, we're gonna die anyway, lets loot and rape. If everyone as individuals had their own plan, then when the politicians and bureaucrats screwed up again the people could actually take care of each other.

Ask not what your government can do for you, ask what you can do for each other!

All the way from Memphis, Egypt - bearing The Funk of 5000 Years

2005-09-03T22:29:00.000-05:00

Just caught Here Come The Mummies last night and I gotta rave! These are the funkiest Mummies you will ever see! Featuring a full and incredibly tight horn section filling out a 9 piece band these Mummies offer up a spooktacular tricked out treat. Two hours of fun and funk filled original tunes showcasing amazingly talented musicians with influences from Sly and the Family Stone and Parliament to Fishbone and the Chilli Peppers, Here Come the Mummies are guaranteed to get your booty shakin and your bones bouncin. They're regional at the moment... Nashville, Chattanooga, and Indy, are their regular haunts for now, but given their incredible talent surely the Mummies will be coming soon to a stage near you.

There are some who say Here Come the Mummies are a collection of Nashville's best studio musicians, winners of 8 Grammys between them, who work for various labels but are united in their love of funk. I, however, believe the tale of Professor Dumbelucke:

Professor Nigel Quentin Fontenelle Dumblucke IV unearthed the ruins of an ancient discotheque and found a dozen stank-ass fonky mummies still all up in the act of rockin' tha hizouse.

From these mummies, Professor Dumblucke learned of the powerful curse that doomed them to wander the earth throughout eternity, seeking the ultimate riff, the one that would allow these souls to finally rest after 5000 years of banging out solid fly grooves.

Here Come The Mummies CD's are slick, sound outstanding and will get any party moving... check out their samples on their website. Even better than their thrill filled studio sound, the sights and sounds of a stage full of live Mummies groovin out like they do will loosen up the worst cases of rigor mortis. So if you're in the region or they end up haunting a venue near you go out of your way to check em out.

Mummy Cass, Eddie Mummy, K.W. Tutt, J Mummy Love, Spaz Mummy, Oozie Mummy, Mummy Rah, Sicko Mummy, Tito Mummy, Slide, Bones, Maximum, and yup that's right - Devo Mummy. Here Come The Mummies! Mummification never felt this good!

Foamy the Squirrel sums it all up!

2005-09-01T21:02:00.000-05:00

Foamy gets it... this is all you need to know about Hurricane Katrina:

Foamy the Squirrel's Live on Location Hurricane Report.

Warning, explicit Squirrel rant at that link.

Pssst... here's the Salvation Army's link.

The Spud Brothers together again!

2005-08-31T20:54:00.000-05:00

What a coincidence. Right in the midst of a DEVO tour of House of Blues venues nationwide comes the release, on the same day, of DEVO Live 1980 and the 25th anniversary edition of The Blues Brothers.

It's 106 miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark and we're wearing Energy Domes.

Whip It.

(Spud Brothers cut and paste image copywrite me, 2005)

Wednesday writer's block

2005-08-31T20:46:00.000-05:00

Ok I admit it, I've got nothing today, and given this weeks events a chuckle or two are needed. Soooo check out the following couple of posts from W.C. Varones:

Leadership and Compassion

Gimme three hurricanes, hold the cheese.

Ok ok, I thought of one... Will Myles Brand and the NCAA PC Police now insist that the Miami Hurricane's change their offensive name?

Yeah I know... told ya I had nothing today.

Scalia's wisdom

2005-08-30T23:30:00.000-05:00

Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia had a word or two to say about the concept of the Supreme Court getting involved in moral issues such as abortion, gay marriage and the death penalty.

"I am questioning the propriety -- indeed, the sanity -- of having a value-laden decision such as this made for the entire society ... by unelected judges.

Now the Senate is looking for moderate judges, mainstream judges. What in the world is a moderate interpretation of a constitutional text? Halfway between what it says and what we'd like it to say?"

Antonin, haven't you heard? That's what we the people want... an authority on high, permenantly appointed, making our decisions for us. Surely you're not suggesting we go to all that messy effort of changing the constitution the old fashioned way? Amendments require, you know, effort. Come on now, didn't we hire you to handle this sort of stuff for us? Don't we pay you government types to do our moralizing for us? Shhh, keep it quiet, Rock Star INXS is on.

Good luck folks

2005-08-30T23:21:00.000-05:00

Well there's little new I can say regarding Hurricane Katrina. Good luck to the all those affected. You're in the prayers of millions.

Here's a usefull link for those not affected.