Captain Corruption\'s Commentary

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Join the Porn Squad Today!

and the are looking for a few good eunuchs! Given the enormous success rate of the various wars our feds are engaged in, like the , , War on Poverty, and the War on , they figured it was high time to launch a .

That's right, just what the ordered... A War on . We're not talking about kiddie porn here folks. They mean regular nasty evil wicked imagery of consenting adults engaging in the sort of behaviors that consenting adults engage in.

According to the Washington Post, federal agents are just thrilled at the thought. They're lining up to join the squad, just sure this is exactly the sort of war our tax dollars should be fighting:

"I guess this means we've won the war on terror," said one exasperated FBI agent, speaking on the condition of anonymity because poking fun at headquarters is not regarded as career-enhancing. "We must not need any more resources for espionage."

Among friends and trusted colleagues, an experienced national security analyst said, "it's a running joke for us."

A few of the printable samples:

"Things I Don't Want On My Resume, Volume Four."

"I already gave at home."

"Honestly, most of the guys would have to recuse themselves."

Personally I can't wait for the TV show... It'll practically write itself...

PORN SQUAD! ...A Quinn Martin production... (que Peter-Gunn-like theme-music)
*True Stories from the Files of the P-Squad*

"Alright, Lefty - put down the Kleenex! We've got ya surrounded!"

"Sonofa...! It's da Porn-Squad! You P-Men'll never take me alive! Uh...could ya wait a couple'a minutes, guys? I'm...almost...there..."

(Sound of automatic gunfire)

Hey Kids! Don't miss next weeks exciting episode of...PORN SQUAD! with guest star Ned Beatty as "the Squealer" and special guest star as himself!

"Alright Squealer, we can do this the easy way or the hard way..."

"Where'd ya score the scat Squealer? Talk or you're goin down!"



(Credit where credit is due- I stole the PORN SQUAD! a Quinn Martin Production gag verbatim from IndyStar Message Board regular Deaconblu. Here's the post. Thanks Deacon!)

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