Captain Corruption\'s Commentary

Monday, August 01, 2005

Without the government would we know anything?

Thanks to wonderfully expensive government funded studies we know that smoking is bad for us. We know that over eating is bad for us. We know that bullets to our head are bad for us. Thank you oh great and wise government for that usefull information... Please give us more.

Oh goody, you have. You have revealed to us today, shocker of shockers, that:

Illicit Sex is a problem at juvenile prisons

Locked up teenagers screaming with hormones engaging in sexual activity? No way? You're kidding, right? Who'da thunk it?!?

What's even less surprising was that federal money was used, via a study by the Justice Department's Bureau of Justice Statistics, to provide us all with this Earth shattering revelation.

Hey while we're at it let's not forget to register all these juvenile sex offenders... After all, as the AP story notes:

Beck, the bureau's chief of corrections statistics, said the study did not make a distinction between consensual and nonconsensual sexual contact. For people under age 18, any sexual contact is considered illegal, he said.

Yup, when those kids get outta juvi they better walk their hood door to door and let the neighbor's know a sex offender is in their midst.

PS. Dear ... Shop your money around. Before you go throwing more money at the 's Bureau of Justice Statistics to study such important statistics like what percentage of the juvenile prison population masturbates I'll drop ya a hint: 100%. For a mere $10,000.00 I'll print my study on fancy official looking paper and issue a press release. What a bargain eh?


Post a Comment

<< Home