Captain Corruption\'s Commentary

Sunday, July 24, 2005

Have Ya Heard the One About the Terrorist and the Nukes?

You can find it all here at World Net Daily, and yes, you SHOULD consider the source. Of course, you should ALWAYS consider the source, whether the source is a teacher, a preacher, a friend, family, main stream media, right wing web sites, left wing web sites, or ludicrously corrupt corporate web sites... But I threaten to digress into a rant about independent thought.

Ok so back on track: The theory is we're about to get nuked- a lot. Well that just figures... Just when I finally paid off my credit cards. The world was supposed to end before I did that.

Seriously though, if this story is all truth it is a sure fire answer to the oft asked question "why haven't there been any attacks in the US since 9/11?"

Cuz they're frying bigger fish.

So, what to do what to do? The current administration hasn't bothered with the borders, and good luck finding a suitcase, or two, or 40, here in the States. Really, what can one of us little folk do about it beside go on with life?

What I really enjoy about the story is that while there has been no significant effort by our to secure our , through which these have been theoretically smuggled:

"He did, however, order the building of underground bunkers away from major metropolitan areas for use by federal government managers following an attack."

That part reminded me of something... hmmm what was it? Oh yeah:

Strangelove: I would not rule out the chance to preserve a nucleus of human specimens. It would be quite easy...heh, heh...(He rolls his wheelchair forward into the light) at the bottom of ah...some of our deeper mineshafts. Radioactivity would never penetrate a mine some thousands of feet deep, and in a matter of weeks, sufficient improvements in drilling space could easily be provided.

President: How long would you have to stay down there?

Strangelove: ...I would think that uh, possibly uh...one hundred years...It would not be difficult Mein Fuehrer! Nuclear reactors could, heh...I'm sorry, Mr. President. Nuclear reactors could provide power almost indefinitely. Greenhouses could maintain plant life. Animals could be bred and slaughtered. A quick survey would have to be made of all the available mine sites in the country, but I would guess that dwelling space for several hundred thousands of our people could easily be provided.

President: Well, I, I would hate to have to decide...who stays up and...who goes down.

Strangelove: Well, that would not be necessary, Mr. President. It could easily be accomplished with a computer. And a computer could be set and programmed to accept factors from youth, health, sexual fertility, intelligence, and a cross-section of necessary skills. Of course, it would be absolutely vital that our top government and military men be included to foster and impart the required principles of leadership and tradition....

Turgidson: Doctor, you mentioned the ratio of ten women to each man. Now, wouldn't that necessitate the abandonment of the so-called monogamous sexual relationship, I mean, as far as men were concerned?

Strangelove: Regrettably, yes. But it is, you know, a sacrifice required for the future of the human race. I hasten to add that since each man will be required to do prodigious...service along these lines, the women will have to be selected for their sexual characteristics which will have to be of a highly stimulating nature.

Russian Ambassador: I must confess, you have an astonishingly good idea there, Doctor.

Now, if you dig further into our admittedly questionable World Net source you'll learn that Al-Queda's plan is to create an "American Hiroshima" and to time the attacks to commemorate the 60th anniversary of the bombing of . That's right, folks... You've got till August 6th. That's gonna put a real damper on my plans to see DEVO in Chicago at the end of August. Not necessarily beautiful, but mutated!

So, again, what to do, what to do? Well folks, one thing to keep in mind is that you can't take it with you. Nope, once Western civilization collapses those greenbacks in your wallet won't do you a bit of good. When the TRW building is vaporized with all the banks in Manhattan those credit cards will be worthless. If ya only have a couple of weeks left then what better way to spend those precious few last days than with some good ol fashioned American ? Get on out there and buy yourself that fully loaded SUV you've always wanted. Head over to the electronics store and grab that top end surround sound system and plasma TV you've had your eyes on. Pick yourself up some serious bling bling at the jewelry store while you're at it. And don't forget to head on over to Captain Corruption's Catalog to grab the latest in high fashion while you still can!

Yeah, that's right, even the end of the world is a .

Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb




Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb

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